opps.. really long since i last blogged... hmm... christmas is just over and this year's christmas was quite an unusual one for me, cos i literally spent the whole day sleeping!! haha i slept then i wake up to take my meals and medicine then go back to sleep!! haha super unhealthy right? think i wouldn't have got up to eat if i need not take my medicine, probably sleep all the way!! haha... thank God the running nose and fever are almost gone, but i still can't get back my voice!! argh!! wondering if i should go down for tuition tmr morning... tmr is payday!! if don't go less money then less money for church building fund... haiz..
i realise i'm rather in a state of confusion when my leader is not available... haha cos sengkim went for surgery and his dad confined him at home for two weeks... even though he told us eng how will be leading us during this period, i haven't heard anything from eng how and it feels quite lost haha... really hope to see that the caregroup can still stay together during this period...
it was rather disappointing that we didn't really have visitors for the christmas service... and i went down for the service despite my fever because i really really hope that my friends would come down eventually and really don't want them to be forfeited the chance of hearing God's word because i wasn't at the service... guess i'll need to continue being faithful in making a difference in these people's lives...
my brain feels rather dead now... i just don't feel like thinking, don't feel like doing anything that is fruitful... it becomes so hard to give thanks and to love God more and more... God please heal me of my sickness...
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Friday, December 04, 2009
My slippers broke on my way to school =(
the broken slipper...my slippers broke immediately after i reach the bus interchange to take my bus... was rather sad and angry cos its such a far walk back to home and the wouldn't be anyone to help if i were to take the bus and head over to boon lay =( stood there and thought for some time before proceeding to try to drag back home with the broken slipper... on the way i just kept thinking... why didn't it broke just when i came out of house? why didn't break only when i reached school... i just keep thinking that it broke at the worse timing =( but it put me to realise also i'm very reliant on people to help me... i just don't want to solve the problem myself... it applies to almost all things..and i make use of the excuse that i'm consulting Godly counsel, but i think i might have overdone it and it became shurking my responsibility to solve my own problems and by doing so i forfeit myself of listening to the holy spirit as well... guess i need to do something about it... i see the problem now, but i don't really have a desire to change it cos i just don't like the idea of having to face my problems myself all the time =( but i hope God can change me, once again, help me to become more independent... God if this is according to your ways, please change my heart.
Thursday, December 03, 2009
GC and exams ended!!
haven't had time to blog since i came back from GC and after my last paper!! haha... GC was really a crazy experience! but really fruitful and enjoyable =)
had three long days with severe lack of sleep... however, that really allow me to experience God's providence in abundance!! haha amazingly =)
initially was pretty uncertain about the trip... firstly had some problem deciding about the way to get to the airport as the flight was quite early and certain bus service we intended to take had not yet started... however things went on okay after some checking out and confirming… however, along the way, was still really uncertain whether it’s God’s will that I go for this GC, after all GC didn’t completely fit into my exam schedule and leaders didn’t encourage my decision initially.. its only after assurance that I have time to study that they allowed me to go… so I was thinking I might have forced my way here and might need to suffer certain consequences… but there was just a sense of assurance that still, this is what God had allowed and definitely I will benefit from this GC =)
During the trip, I studied for the first two nights, didn’t study on the last night cos we did sharing and reflections till 3am and I had to wake up at 4.30am to catch my flight.. totally crazy… and due to some complications, I ended up sleeping by curling up at the side of the bed on the first night =( but I really thank God for sustaining me through the programmes of the GC.. though I was nodding off, I captured most of the teachings and experience presence of God vividly during praise and worship =)
Another amazing experience that I really wanna give glory to God is His help during my revision… I amazingly managed to understand my module in short time spent and I really could concentrate in my studies better… I guess this was what I really needed… it’s really hard not to be stressed knowing that you have badly little time left to study and you are studying so late in the night, knowing that the next day will be filled with programmes and activities… I guess God gave me peace as well, I wasn’t panicky while I studied. Indeed God is faithful =)
Set a few objectives before the camp so as to come to God with expectation…
1. Gain strengthening to face challenges
2. Growing armour-bearer spirit
3. Making sense of experiences
Glad that God spoke to me regarding all the objectives =) Regarding challenges, I was rather put to shame cos I was exposed to people facing much greater challenges than me and they remained so faithful. I think to be strengthened is to look for resources to overcome these challenges… God gives to each challenges as well as the resources to deal with God cos God is out to prosper us and never to harm us =) had a new understanding about armour-bearing spirit that it is very important and I need to follow closely behind the leader in order to fulfil my job.. really want to improve on this =) I think some weakness I have in doing this is the way I communicate feedback and the knowledge of my leader… Lastly, making sense of my experiences, what I think I can grow in is the impartation of spirit to those around me.. the experiences that I have, I need to impart to the people around me, just like how I always gain impartation of spirit by others… this way the people help me to preserve this spirit if anytime I lost it or forgot it…
My greatest impression of this GC is that it really surrounds the building up of leadership, disciple-making and to be upward and outward looking =) many applications that were shared are how to build up people, how to grow people =) it called for me to impart whatever I have to be devoted for God’s work and gave me a push and a direction of how to overcome self-love and self-centredness =)
Really think that this GC was full of great and wonderful experiences.. on the flight back, I had to take the plane alone so it was a first time… didn’t think it was a pleasing experience but I guess it’s a step of independence =) which I quite secretly badly don’t want to grow in!! haha but i have no choice!! Btw parents went back to terrenganu already =( just two days after I return and a day after I end exam… pretty sad that I didn’t really have time to spend with them =( but I guess the thing that will really please them is that I will be able to take care of myself =) so I need to work hard to do that!! Came up with a household chores plan which splits up the work we have at home with my brother =) I think this time things should be much better! =)
Just want to end off by praying that I will be faithful with whatever God has spoken to me during this GC.. I really need to carry through, may things learnt, many things I have in mind to do, I may not have the strength, the resources to do them yet but I want to try and I want to put them on hold and wait for the opportunity =) Pray for a heart that is always soft and sensitive to the Holy Spirit as well =)
had three long days with severe lack of sleep... however, that really allow me to experience God's providence in abundance!! haha amazingly =)
initially was pretty uncertain about the trip... firstly had some problem deciding about the way to get to the airport as the flight was quite early and certain bus service we intended to take had not yet started... however things went on okay after some checking out and confirming… however, along the way, was still really uncertain whether it’s God’s will that I go for this GC, after all GC didn’t completely fit into my exam schedule and leaders didn’t encourage my decision initially.. its only after assurance that I have time to study that they allowed me to go… so I was thinking I might have forced my way here and might need to suffer certain consequences… but there was just a sense of assurance that still, this is what God had allowed and definitely I will benefit from this GC =)
During the trip, I studied for the first two nights, didn’t study on the last night cos we did sharing and reflections till 3am and I had to wake up at 4.30am to catch my flight.. totally crazy… and due to some complications, I ended up sleeping by curling up at the side of the bed on the first night =( but I really thank God for sustaining me through the programmes of the GC.. though I was nodding off, I captured most of the teachings and experience presence of God vividly during praise and worship =)
Another amazing experience that I really wanna give glory to God is His help during my revision… I amazingly managed to understand my module in short time spent and I really could concentrate in my studies better… I guess this was what I really needed… it’s really hard not to be stressed knowing that you have badly little time left to study and you are studying so late in the night, knowing that the next day will be filled with programmes and activities… I guess God gave me peace as well, I wasn’t panicky while I studied. Indeed God is faithful =)
Set a few objectives before the camp so as to come to God with expectation…
1. Gain strengthening to face challenges
2. Growing armour-bearer spirit
3. Making sense of experiences
Glad that God spoke to me regarding all the objectives =) Regarding challenges, I was rather put to shame cos I was exposed to people facing much greater challenges than me and they remained so faithful. I think to be strengthened is to look for resources to overcome these challenges… God gives to each challenges as well as the resources to deal with God cos God is out to prosper us and never to harm us =) had a new understanding about armour-bearing spirit that it is very important and I need to follow closely behind the leader in order to fulfil my job.. really want to improve on this =) I think some weakness I have in doing this is the way I communicate feedback and the knowledge of my leader… Lastly, making sense of my experiences, what I think I can grow in is the impartation of spirit to those around me.. the experiences that I have, I need to impart to the people around me, just like how I always gain impartation of spirit by others… this way the people help me to preserve this spirit if anytime I lost it or forgot it…
My greatest impression of this GC is that it really surrounds the building up of leadership, disciple-making and to be upward and outward looking =) many applications that were shared are how to build up people, how to grow people =) it called for me to impart whatever I have to be devoted for God’s work and gave me a push and a direction of how to overcome self-love and self-centredness =)
Really think that this GC was full of great and wonderful experiences.. on the flight back, I had to take the plane alone so it was a first time… didn’t think it was a pleasing experience but I guess it’s a step of independence =) which I quite secretly badly don’t want to grow in!! haha but i have no choice!! Btw parents went back to terrenganu already =( just two days after I return and a day after I end exam… pretty sad that I didn’t really have time to spend with them =( but I guess the thing that will really please them is that I will be able to take care of myself =) so I need to work hard to do that!! Came up with a household chores plan which splits up the work we have at home with my brother =) I think this time things should be much better! =)
Just want to end off by praying that I will be faithful with whatever God has spoken to me during this GC.. I really need to carry through, may things learnt, many things I have in mind to do, I may not have the strength, the resources to do them yet but I want to try and I want to put them on hold and wait for the opportunity =) Pray for a heart that is always soft and sensitive to the Holy Spirit as well =)
Thursday, November 12, 2009
feeling drained..
this week was really a tired for me... i felt tired physically, mentally and emotionally...
physical there's nothing for me to say... late nights plus my anemia condition... then my mind has been always full of things to think about, to plan... then worries and fears will just keep popping out.. its rather irritating and i feel that i have been feeling irritated really easily this week... haiz.. that why caused me to feel tired emotionally as well. and i find myself becoming very sad whenever there is no one i know around me... i can feel immediately that my face turn black, but i really find no reason to smile or look happy... 怎么办呢？haiz..actually long wanted to have a break already, to take time to have peace and quiet, to ot be distracted by any of my worries and concerns... but it just turned out that something else just seem more important.. i guess that's why i ended up in such a jialat state now...
but alright la, not feeling pathetic about myself, but there is still fear of not being able to manage in the coming week and i sense my complain spirit building up!!! want to complain to God why make me go through this... then i will aiya, i know la you want me to conquer them and grow stronger... had been sharing that to people, i guess now is the time i get tested in this area and really live this out for others to see.. which is according to the season i identified myself to be in =) haha so... 是我自找的..haha reminded of what meixuan say during one of our follow up, haha she say 没有辛苦过哪里会得到.. haha so funny... but its true that we need to go through to conquer haha... i shall accept it with joy right?
feel so much better now.. anyway, calyn shared before its good to have an anchor verse to hold on to to make sure i struggle and go through things with God and fight against the schemes of the devil..
For this, i shall anchor on
physical there's nothing for me to say... late nights plus my anemia condition... then my mind has been always full of things to think about, to plan... then worries and fears will just keep popping out.. its rather irritating and i feel that i have been feeling irritated really easily this week... haiz.. that why caused me to feel tired emotionally as well. and i find myself becoming very sad whenever there is no one i know around me... i can feel immediately that my face turn black, but i really find no reason to smile or look happy... 怎么办呢？haiz..actually long wanted to have a break already, to take time to have peace and quiet, to ot be distracted by any of my worries and concerns... but it just turned out that something else just seem more important.. i guess that's why i ended up in such a jialat state now...
but alright la, not feeling pathetic about myself, but there is still fear of not being able to manage in the coming week and i sense my complain spirit building up!!! want to complain to God why make me go through this... then i will aiya, i know la you want me to conquer them and grow stronger... had been sharing that to people, i guess now is the time i get tested in this area and really live this out for others to see.. which is according to the season i identified myself to be in =) haha so... 是我自找的..haha reminded of what meixuan say during one of our follow up, haha she say 没有辛苦过哪里会得到.. haha so funny... but its true that we need to go through to conquer haha... i shall accept it with joy right?
feel so much better now.. anyway, calyn shared before its good to have an anchor verse to hold on to to make sure i struggle and go through things with God and fight against the schemes of the devil..
For this, i shall anchor on
Romans 8:28-30
28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,j]"> whok]"> have been called according to his purpose. 29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Stoning
haha... this post is about one of my hobbies!! lol... recently have been stoning more... think there was a period i didn't stone for very long, but i guess recently there were quite a lot of worries in my mind, which i'm still trying to work with God to drive away...
Just randomly got a 'revelation' about stoning. May not be true for everyone but at least this is the case for me. There were people telling me that stoning isn't good but never really gave me a convincing answer... i'm not someone easily convinced!! haha cos for me, stoning is not idling of the mind. in fact, my mind is rather active when i'm stoning. i'm thinking about things, most of the time actually thinking about what is going to happen. 'foretell' the future in my mind, running through what is likely to happen. Doesn't seem to be anything bad right? in fact such thinking can lead to a well-thought decision. it is something good that i should practise. However, the thing about stoning is that i don't come to any conclusion. that is why people see me in a daze and when they ask why do i look like that, i'll just respond that i'm stoning. because there is no conclusion to share... realise that this is actually something quite dangerous. i can't leave my thoughts hanging there!! i need to make sense, need to conclude. because, what if the thought was a negative one and i leave it there untouched, it will just cause any situation to worsen. making sense is very important.
Alright, so actually i want to resolve to stop stoning. I need to make sense of the things i'm thinking about...
Just randomly got a 'revelation' about stoning. May not be true for everyone but at least this is the case for me. There were people telling me that stoning isn't good but never really gave me a convincing answer... i'm not someone easily convinced!! haha cos for me, stoning is not idling of the mind. in fact, my mind is rather active when i'm stoning. i'm thinking about things, most of the time actually thinking about what is going to happen. 'foretell' the future in my mind, running through what is likely to happen. Doesn't seem to be anything bad right? in fact such thinking can lead to a well-thought decision. it is something good that i should practise. However, the thing about stoning is that i don't come to any conclusion. that is why people see me in a daze and when they ask why do i look like that, i'll just respond that i'm stoning. because there is no conclusion to share... realise that this is actually something quite dangerous. i can't leave my thoughts hanging there!! i need to make sense, need to conclude. because, what if the thought was a negative one and i leave it there untouched, it will just cause any situation to worsen. making sense is very important.
Alright, so actually i want to resolve to stop stoning. I need to make sense of the things i'm thinking about...
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
God, our ever-present help
was reading Joshua for QT this morning, and was amazed by the way God has led Israel to conquer the lands, how he allowed miracles to happen so that the Israelites may be victorious everytime. Then i was reminded that i'm the spiritual israelite, which means God will also bless me in that very same way =) and i came up with this.... (not in any excellent literature, but the meaning is there and that is what is important)
The Lord wants Seow Wei to have good health, so that she can be more efficient in her work & will have more time to serve Him. Because the Lord wants her to have good health, He will drive away the discomfort and the symptoms of weak health away, miracles will happen so that Seow Wei may have a strong and healthy body again =))
Psalm 46:1
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."
The Lord wants Seow Wei to have good health, so that she can be more efficient in her work & will have more time to serve Him. Because the Lord wants her to have good health, He will drive away the discomfort and the symptoms of weak health away, miracles will happen so that Seow Wei may have a strong and healthy body again =))
Psalm 46:1
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Dizzy Spells
... previously posted that i have been tired during the week... haiz think it got worse, had dizzy spells since friday... but today is alot better already =))
Felt really really tired on friday, slept through almost all my lectures of friday... actually wanted to try to keep awake.. then my friend say i look really tired, might as well just sleep through the lecture for my elective... haha that actually reminded me that last week i slept during the same lecture and only wake up cos my friend nudged me to say there's a surprise quiz!! haha... and there really was a surprise quiz again on that day!!
anyway, that time was just feeling tired, its only after i got home then the dizzy spells started... haiz.. the first time i experience it was when i stood up after sitting on the sofa for some time... things around became blur and dark and started spinning... so i quick grabbed onto something and took a seat... felt that it wasn't as good sign, so went to bed immediately... so i slept at 10.30pm and woke up at 8.30am.. a full 10 hours... when i woke up, just felt tired, not dizzy, so went to m'sia with my parents, they went to get tickets for the coach to terrenganu (malaysia), they are leaving on 3nov and won't be back before 22nov...don't know whether i can go through such a long time without my mum waking me up, making breakfast for me.... and my dad to talk to... having to take care of certain household chores... my parents jokingly called me kun ka loi, which is 管家女in cantonese...haha meaning i will be in charge of the household during the perios they are away...haha anyway i think partly because of the travelling, when i got back, was terribly tired so i went back to take a nap before going for caregroup... this time started to feel abit dizzy after alighting from the bus i took to go for CG, but at least still could walk, as long as i avoid looking at things that are moving vigorously, it's still alright... ( the typing is causing me to be a little dizzy again..) anyway, think i affected the caregroup... but i guess this is not within my control... feel quite sad about this... i don't know why exactly i get these dizzy spells... but fainty and blurred/blocked vision is not uncommon for me whenever i stand up after sitting for a long time...my mum says that its cos of anemia and gives me some herbal /tonic drink and soup.... i really don't think i didn't take care of my body.... i slept more when i sense that i felt more tired than usual... actually i just found out, i have alot of symptoms of iron deficiency anemia... wondering if i should go and see a doc about it..cos anaemia is quite common and many carry on undetected... so don't know whether it will help, cause i don't wish to waste the money... maybe i should finish the iron tablets i got from trying to donate blood.... but i always keep forgetting to eat...
anyway i just really hope that the dizziness and tiredness will go away soon... want to study for my test on wed and also plan to start on my revision asap... God, please help me!!
Felt really really tired on friday, slept through almost all my lectures of friday... actually wanted to try to keep awake.. then my friend say i look really tired, might as well just sleep through the lecture for my elective... haha that actually reminded me that last week i slept during the same lecture and only wake up cos my friend nudged me to say there's a surprise quiz!! haha... and there really was a surprise quiz again on that day!!
anyway, that time was just feeling tired, its only after i got home then the dizzy spells started... haiz.. the first time i experience it was when i stood up after sitting on the sofa for some time... things around became blur and dark and started spinning... so i quick grabbed onto something and took a seat... felt that it wasn't as good sign, so went to bed immediately... so i slept at 10.30pm and woke up at 8.30am.. a full 10 hours... when i woke up, just felt tired, not dizzy, so went to m'sia with my parents, they went to get tickets for the coach to terrenganu (malaysia), they are leaving on 3nov and won't be back before 22nov...don't know whether i can go through such a long time without my mum waking me up, making breakfast for me.... and my dad to talk to... having to take care of certain household chores... my parents jokingly called me kun ka loi, which is 管家女in cantonese...haha meaning i will be in charge of the household during the perios they are away...haha anyway i think partly because of the travelling, when i got back, was terribly tired so i went back to take a nap before going for caregroup... this time started to feel abit dizzy after alighting from the bus i took to go for CG, but at least still could walk, as long as i avoid looking at things that are moving vigorously, it's still alright... ( the typing is causing me to be a little dizzy again..) anyway, think i affected the caregroup... but i guess this is not within my control... feel quite sad about this... i don't know why exactly i get these dizzy spells... but fainty and blurred/blocked vision is not uncommon for me whenever i stand up after sitting for a long time...my mum says that its cos of anemia and gives me some herbal /tonic drink and soup.... i really don't think i didn't take care of my body.... i slept more when i sense that i felt more tired than usual... actually i just found out, i have alot of symptoms of iron deficiency anemia... wondering if i should go and see a doc about it..cos anaemia is quite common and many carry on undetected... so don't know whether it will help, cause i don't wish to waste the money... maybe i should finish the iron tablets i got from trying to donate blood.... but i always keep forgetting to eat...
anyway i just really hope that the dizziness and tiredness will go away soon... want to study for my test on wed and also plan to start on my revision asap... God, please help me!!
Friday, October 30, 2009
God, I'm rather traumatised...
This week had been feeling rather dry and tired...it's actually not a xiong week for me... only had a lab report, one homework, normal workload for me... but really feel quite sian, everytime i want to study, i ended up just starring at the notes and can't focus in lectures as well, either keep dozing off or start stoning...yea then cos i keep feeling tired, i slept earlier too... usually i sleep at 2plus but these few days only went to bed between 12 to 2am... so i don't understand why also and i have been having quite bad headaches in the morning during the week... dunno why..
yea anyway, want to move on the talk about the things that traumatised me... ytd went home late cos of shepherding... yup then was taking 180 home with chee harn...yup then there was this road junction which i saw two ambulance and a police car... then, being curious, i looked out further and saw something on the ground which, at first i couldn't recognise was a crushed motorcycle... i think it's only about half the original size already... and there was alot of blood on the ground around it... and the blood looked as if it was splattered out..scary... and the civil defence people covered something which i think is the body of the motorcyclist... i was rather scared and didn't want to admit that the motorcyclist died during the crash... so i didn't tell chee harn about what i saw, i just told him a there is a car accident and omitted the part about the body... i think death to me is really something scary, that's why i really don't want to admit that they had pronounced the motorcyclist dead, even though it is quite obvious, how else will they cover up the whole body?
yup, and that wasn't enough, today i dropped off the bus when it reached my bus stop and just after taking a few steps, i saw the police tape used to close the pathway to go to the lake just opposite my house... then i saw a big crowd and several civil defence vehicles and police car... oh no! something bad happened again?! yup, i half wanted to go and take a look at what happened but also very afraid that i would see death again, so in the end i quickly rushed home, so that i could ask my parents whether they know what happened... on the way i just thought, even i feel so much about these people, what about their family, those who are close to them, their loved ones? what will they be feeling?
then i just thought that actually i could very easily be one of them... people close to me, my loved ones, my family, my friends, they are not in any way accident-free; disaster-immune... i could have to face such thing anytime, though i really pray i would not... Then i just thought whether God might want to speak to me through this things that i see... i think this might be a reminder to share the Gospel with urgency, especially to my loved ones...i really want to do my 100% to make sure they know about God and how important God is in their lives before i lose the chance to do so...
Anyway, after that reached home and asked my parents, they told me the news reported that they had expected that 2 boys were washed off by the strong current in the drain due to the rainwater from the heavy downpour in the afternoon..
Feeling sad and emo now... God please restore me... give me strength to move on, i know that dwelling in such sorrow will not bring about anything good, so God help me to move on, i want to make a difference....
yea anyway, want to move on the talk about the things that traumatised me... ytd went home late cos of shepherding... yup then was taking 180 home with chee harn...yup then there was this road junction which i saw two ambulance and a police car... then, being curious, i looked out further and saw something on the ground which, at first i couldn't recognise was a crushed motorcycle... i think it's only about half the original size already... and there was alot of blood on the ground around it... and the blood looked as if it was splattered out..scary... and the civil defence people covered something which i think is the body of the motorcyclist... i was rather scared and didn't want to admit that the motorcyclist died during the crash... so i didn't tell chee harn about what i saw, i just told him a there is a car accident and omitted the part about the body... i think death to me is really something scary, that's why i really don't want to admit that they had pronounced the motorcyclist dead, even though it is quite obvious, how else will they cover up the whole body?
yup, and that wasn't enough, today i dropped off the bus when it reached my bus stop and just after taking a few steps, i saw the police tape used to close the pathway to go to the lake just opposite my house... then i saw a big crowd and several civil defence vehicles and police car... oh no! something bad happened again?! yup, i half wanted to go and take a look at what happened but also very afraid that i would see death again, so in the end i quickly rushed home, so that i could ask my parents whether they know what happened... on the way i just thought, even i feel so much about these people, what about their family, those who are close to them, their loved ones? what will they be feeling?
then i just thought that actually i could very easily be one of them... people close to me, my loved ones, my family, my friends, they are not in any way accident-free; disaster-immune... i could have to face such thing anytime, though i really pray i would not... Then i just thought whether God might want to speak to me through this things that i see... i think this might be a reminder to share the Gospel with urgency, especially to my loved ones...i really want to do my 100% to make sure they know about God and how important God is in their lives before i lose the chance to do so...
Anyway, after that reached home and asked my parents, they told me the news reported that they had expected that 2 boys were washed off by the strong current in the drain due to the rainwater from the heavy downpour in the afternoon..
Feeling sad and emo now... God please restore me... give me strength to move on, i know that dwelling in such sorrow will not bring about anything good, so God help me to move on, i want to make a difference....
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Physics Craze!!
Yup, this is it, madness in physics!! Well, what do you expect? i'm a physics student!! haha but don't worry, i'm not gone insane haha!! just that have been 'overloaded' with physics stuff lately.. yup, not necessarily a bad thing though, (even though i would still prefer not to be expected to understand so much stuff in physics) cos in the study of physics, i could see the fingerprints of God all around... To someone who has been given an intro to the subject, he'll probably think that science is wonderful and can explain all things. but now that i'm given more and more, it actually revealed to me that NO, science cannot explain why things happen... professors have been saying all things in science are postulates (that have been proven consistent empirically).. postulates meaning guesses... there is no prove why do we use this equation or why this constant...
take an example, the law of censervation of energy, which states that energy neither be created nor destroyed. Why? Why can't it? There is no explanation to it. The scientist just came out with this law because this is what we observe all the time. Yup, so science can't explain anything. It does not tell us how things work, it is just a study of how things work.
So, science can't explain anything, then what can? not too sure about the rest of you, but to me, i think the world is such a wonderful place and the way things work is so beautiful that there must be someone or something governing it. So this reveals that not only does the world has a creator, but this creator remains to govern the world. Convinced that this is God?
Really thank God for revealing these things to me. This could very well be why God has placed me in physics. It grew me so much in my faith and my understanding. I used to think science disproves God but i have no idea why. Now i know science does not disprove God and i can even share with those who like me, used to think science explains everything. God has been strengthening me in my mind!!
take an example, the law of censervation of energy, which states that energy neither be created nor destroyed. Why? Why can't it? There is no explanation to it. The scientist just came out with this law because this is what we observe all the time. Yup, so science can't explain anything. It does not tell us how things work, it is just a study of how things work.
So, science can't explain anything, then what can? not too sure about the rest of you, but to me, i think the world is such a wonderful place and the way things work is so beautiful that there must be someone or something governing it. So this reveals that not only does the world has a creator, but this creator remains to govern the world. Convinced that this is God?
Really thank God for revealing these things to me. This could very well be why God has placed me in physics. It grew me so much in my faith and my understanding. I used to think science disproves God but i have no idea why. Now i know science does not disprove God and i can even share with those who like me, used to think science explains everything. God has been strengthening me in my mind!!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Definiton of Pride
Few days back, was spending time with two sisters and we were talking about pride.. At a point of time a sister said... pride is to think about myself more than I think about God.. love this definition =)
It caught me thinking how many times i have been thinking so much about myself... my mind is always so full of I, I, I and Is.... how about changing them all to God? that will involve a lot of change, but God is calling me to do that!!
It caught me thinking how many times i have been thinking so much about myself... my mind is always so full of I, I, I and Is.... how about changing them all to God? that will involve a lot of change, but God is calling me to do that!!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Desert Song
=) very thankful for God for sustaining me this week. Well, it did had its share of ups and downs (with God). But glad everything work out right, and that i see God as a faithful God who really provides.
Start off by answering the question I wanted to think about since the last post, the question that Sengkim asked a few caregroups ago. About whether i can say to God that I can live simply because i have Him. Think God had been challenging me in this. haha cos i did include it in my prayer, so this is how God answers me and helps me. Just feel really amazed at how God always communicates me in very interesting ways... its like i have to take a big turn, then turn back to Him and afterwhich everything falls into place. Perhaps God is growing me in terms of listening to Him, waiting patiently for His will to be done. Why did i say that God challenged me? hmm, yup had things to struggle with.. role in caregroup, purpose in physics, difficulty in finances, striving to make a difference in my family... i think these are things really important to me at this moment, and i really want to handle everything well. But i think its really until now that i truly realise, these challenges are included purposefully in my life by God =)
Before doing this reflection of my week, i had always looked at these challenges as opportunityies given by God to grow myself, grow in managing, basically to grow to become a better person more equipped to serve Him. BUT, i missed out this important point of growing my relationship with Him as well... though it is in His plan that i grow to become a stronger person through the going through of trails and difficulties but what is more important... Just very reminded of Mary and Martha as i thought about this. I was like Martha, only looking at the external, my service to God, whether what i did made a difference. I forgot what is the more important, that anything that i go through, i seek to accomplish it with God, so that my relationship with Him will grow. My prayer for today: To be like Mary, seek to grow my relationship with God.
Very blessed by this song as well =)
Also really really like the last verse.. This is my prayer in the harvest, When favour and providence flow; I know i'm filled to be emptied again, The seed I've received I will sow.. I think cos i really what to claim that i understand that i'm filled to be emptied again =)
Something i really desire to do for God. I think to be able to really understand obey to this phrase, I will really be willing to give up all things for God. i think it is declaring that the earth has nothing i desire, God You are my only desire. You give to me what you want to me to have and I am a vessel to be used by you, i take no glory for the things i do bacause whatever i did it is You who has done it through me.
Thank you God for being so faithful to me, not forsaking me even as i stray away and wander from you and somethings rejecting Your will for me, thanks for calling and pulling me back. Lord continue to reveal to me how to desire for more of You in my life, help me Lord to remember to always seek to grow my relationship with You through the work you call me to do (which is everything that i'm doing now =)) Lord lead me and guide me in Your ways, which i know is a pleasant future =)
Start off by answering the question I wanted to think about since the last post, the question that Sengkim asked a few caregroups ago. About whether i can say to God that I can live simply because i have Him. Think God had been challenging me in this. haha cos i did include it in my prayer, so this is how God answers me and helps me. Just feel really amazed at how God always communicates me in very interesting ways... its like i have to take a big turn, then turn back to Him and afterwhich everything falls into place. Perhaps God is growing me in terms of listening to Him, waiting patiently for His will to be done. Why did i say that God challenged me? hmm, yup had things to struggle with.. role in caregroup, purpose in physics, difficulty in finances, striving to make a difference in my family... i think these are things really important to me at this moment, and i really want to handle everything well. But i think its really until now that i truly realise, these challenges are included purposefully in my life by God =)
Before doing this reflection of my week, i had always looked at these challenges as opportunityies given by God to grow myself, grow in managing, basically to grow to become a better person more equipped to serve Him. BUT, i missed out this important point of growing my relationship with Him as well... though it is in His plan that i grow to become a stronger person through the going through of trails and difficulties but what is more important... Just very reminded of Mary and Martha as i thought about this. I was like Martha, only looking at the external, my service to God, whether what i did made a difference. I forgot what is the more important, that anything that i go through, i seek to accomplish it with God, so that my relationship with Him will grow. My prayer for today: To be like Mary, seek to grow my relationship with God.
Very blessed by this song as well =)
Desert SongThink it really speaks of how i desire to handle the things that i am going through right now...having the assurance that God will help me, understand that God refines and disciplines, having the confidence in Christ. It really allows me to express to God that whatever it may in my life, Lord you are still worthy of praise =) As i sing this song, i will always recall of times of trouble when i find it difficult to trust God, but things always turn out well and i see God's hand in it. and seeing this helps me to trust God in the present =)
Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides
Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames
Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow
Also really really like the last verse.. This is my prayer in the harvest, When favour and providence flow; I know i'm filled to be emptied again, The seed I've received I will sow.. I think cos i really what to claim that i understand that i'm filled to be emptied again =)
Something i really desire to do for God. I think to be able to really understand obey to this phrase, I will really be willing to give up all things for God. i think it is declaring that the earth has nothing i desire, God You are my only desire. You give to me what you want to me to have and I am a vessel to be used by you, i take no glory for the things i do bacause whatever i did it is You who has done it through me.
Thank you God for being so faithful to me, not forsaking me even as i stray away and wander from you and somethings rejecting Your will for me, thanks for calling and pulling me back. Lord continue to reveal to me how to desire for more of You in my life, help me Lord to remember to always seek to grow my relationship with You through the work you call me to do (which is everything that i'm doing now =)) Lord lead me and guide me in Your ways, which i know is a pleasant future =)
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Living my life as a worship
Currently in a season of pruning.. I see God putting me through several challenges. right now,i believe God wants me to deal with my area of insecurity and dwelling in negative thoughts. Loving God in my mind.
Challenges in terms of my studies, my future, finances and family are all happening together. but thank God I'm still walking with God, having been looking to Him through this period. Just feel that really cannot fall away from being like this anytime. I really need to sustain this heart attitude that trusts God and believing that everything will work out right because of Him. Him alone gives me security, because however i look at the circumstance, the situation, i see no hope. But because of God in my life, i foresee miracles. My life will be one of miracles because my life will shine God's strength. it only through the lens of faith that i see a bright future, a bright future that i have with God.
One question (posted by sengkim) that had been in mind for some time is this: I can say i can't live without God, but can i say i can live with nothing else but God?
Having faced the many challenges, i can definitely say that i really cannot live without God. But the question whether i can live just because i have God and nothing else is something i had never thought deeply about. in other words, God is something i need but is God all i need? the answer should be a yes, because if i truly know God's character and trust that He can and will provide, i need nothing else but Him. but i just can't say that God is all that i need at this moment.
What i thought would be able to help myself is to ask this myself this question: will i give up all the things i have to be with God? My life, my friends, my family, my possessions... I think everytime i ask myself this question, i will tell myself that these are all the things provided me and He will continue to provide. But that's not true, the life of a bible character, Daniel, he lost all that he has and God allowed that. God will not necessarily provide me with these things, but the only thing He always unfailingly provide is His presence, His love.
Romans 8:38-39 "For I am convince that neither death nor life, neither angel or demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus out Lord."
Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who has been called according to His purpose."
I believe, i other words, God is saying He is all that we need. In EVERYTHING, God not only provide us our need, be instead provides us a life that is good. How would he then allow any of us to go through anything or any situation whereby our needs are not being provided. and we know that through the bible, the only things that God provided to all His people all the time is Himself and nothing else.
think that thinking about this question is really apt to my season now. to worship God with my life, i need to first be able to lay down everything before Him and say that God, these are not what i need , take them as You please, only be with me.
Challenges in terms of my studies, my future, finances and family are all happening together. but thank God I'm still walking with God, having been looking to Him through this period. Just feel that really cannot fall away from being like this anytime. I really need to sustain this heart attitude that trusts God and believing that everything will work out right because of Him. Him alone gives me security, because however i look at the circumstance, the situation, i see no hope. But because of God in my life, i foresee miracles. My life will be one of miracles because my life will shine God's strength. it only through the lens of faith that i see a bright future, a bright future that i have with God.
One question (posted by sengkim) that had been in mind for some time is this: I can say i can't live without God, but can i say i can live with nothing else but God?
Having faced the many challenges, i can definitely say that i really cannot live without God. But the question whether i can live just because i have God and nothing else is something i had never thought deeply about. in other words, God is something i need but is God all i need? the answer should be a yes, because if i truly know God's character and trust that He can and will provide, i need nothing else but Him. but i just can't say that God is all that i need at this moment.
What i thought would be able to help myself is to ask this myself this question: will i give up all the things i have to be with God? My life, my friends, my family, my possessions... I think everytime i ask myself this question, i will tell myself that these are all the things provided me and He will continue to provide. But that's not true, the life of a bible character, Daniel, he lost all that he has and God allowed that. God will not necessarily provide me with these things, but the only thing He always unfailingly provide is His presence, His love.
Romans 8:38-39 "For I am convince that neither death nor life, neither angel or demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus out Lord."
Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who has been called according to His purpose."
I believe, i other words, God is saying He is all that we need. In EVERYTHING, God not only provide us our need, be instead provides us a life that is good. How would he then allow any of us to go through anything or any situation whereby our needs are not being provided. and we know that through the bible, the only things that God provided to all His people all the time is Himself and nothing else.
think that thinking about this question is really apt to my season now. to worship God with my life, i need to first be able to lay down everything before Him and say that God, these are not what i need , take them as You please, only be with me.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Making sense
hmm..my part for ESS can be considered to have ended =) I really am glad that i could contribute this much, though it may not be the most important part but i am truly convinced that i gave the best that i could, even though the last day started to complain but after that i realised more so it really was an experience that i do not want to forget =)
Am really glad to have acquired several skills during this period of serving... photoshop skills, skills in production and filming, teamwork, knowing what it means to give my best...
Moreover, besides ESS publicity there were other things going on that allowed me to learn and grow... follow up on meixuan, usher team leader, taking care of yihan... this holiday has been ultra fruitful, still making sense of them all but i really am experiencing things happpening in my life because of God =) and i really still want to grow more...
Had caregroup ytd and sengkim posted the question: "How do we want to shine for God? In what areas and how?", it was kind of a follow through from the sermon last saturday... my first reaction was to think what does it mean to shine? to me it is to exhibit Godly characteristics through decision making...(why decision making? cos i believe that our lives are made up by the decisions we make (sermon by Ps. Andy Stanley, shown deuring service two saturdays ago)) so how can i exhibit this characteristics? and to who? I think first of all, i need to be someone that people will listen to and is interested in my life to be able to catch their interest in the way i make my decisions... so there must firstly be a relationship... then next will be am i sharing with others how my decisions where being made, to friends yes, to family yes, so where is this area within my influence that i do not showcase? very obviously it is to people in my course... i do not approach the people, do not pro-actively make friends, in fact i try to avoid people, avoid attention. i just want to go for lecture just to get the knowledge of what i need to know and understand so that i can do well in my exams and that's all...
Evaluated why...
my burden for these people does not really exist, i fear their judgement and i fear being compared in terms of results. Glad that God gave me understanding about doing good to all men and that perfect love drives out all fear..
"To slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men."
Titus 3:2
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
1 John 4:18
need to meditate on these verses and put them into practise to be able to shine for God in this area =)
Am really glad to have acquired several skills during this period of serving... photoshop skills, skills in production and filming, teamwork, knowing what it means to give my best...
Moreover, besides ESS publicity there were other things going on that allowed me to learn and grow... follow up on meixuan, usher team leader, taking care of yihan... this holiday has been ultra fruitful, still making sense of them all but i really am experiencing things happpening in my life because of God =) and i really still want to grow more...
Had caregroup ytd and sengkim posted the question: "How do we want to shine for God? In what areas and how?", it was kind of a follow through from the sermon last saturday... my first reaction was to think what does it mean to shine? to me it is to exhibit Godly characteristics through decision making...(why decision making? cos i believe that our lives are made up by the decisions we make (sermon by Ps. Andy Stanley, shown deuring service two saturdays ago)) so how can i exhibit this characteristics? and to who? I think first of all, i need to be someone that people will listen to and is interested in my life to be able to catch their interest in the way i make my decisions... so there must firstly be a relationship... then next will be am i sharing with others how my decisions where being made, to friends yes, to family yes, so where is this area within my influence that i do not showcase? very obviously it is to people in my course... i do not approach the people, do not pro-actively make friends, in fact i try to avoid people, avoid attention. i just want to go for lecture just to get the knowledge of what i need to know and understand so that i can do well in my exams and that's all...
Evaluated why...
my burden for these people does not really exist, i fear their judgement and i fear being compared in terms of results. Glad that God gave me understanding about doing good to all men and that perfect love drives out all fear..
"To slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men."
Titus 3:2
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
1 John 4:18
need to meditate on these verses and put them into practise to be able to shine for God in this area =)
Monday, July 20, 2009
Serving hard
Now is a period of xiongness..haha..many things to be done and new things to try out...hmm so why am i blogging? haha to make sense to keep track that i'm on track and not falling away.. cos the worse thing i want to happen is i serve God in works so much i forgot my motivation which is Him..
yup, very important verse that i want to hold on to and never ever let go!
well, mainly busy because of ESS publicity.. cos the deadline is horribly near!! coming saturday will be our first publicity, that's like 5 days away only!!
yea, the things to be tied down now are the invite cards, the publicity clips..
but really am very thankful for this team..everyone is so hyped up to serve, i don't feel a tinge of reluctance to sacrifice time for the benefit of the ESS production...that i feel really amazed by how God prepared their hearts to serve.. though not the first time serving in a publicity team (previously served in communcations for UNI-YA Camp), i looked at this opportunity to serve as something new, a chance for me to learn and discover more about myself, and i want to see God working in me through this!
Definitely there do are things i learn and grow in already..i learn to maintain the good attitude, i learn to accept and submit to what the leaders ask for or criticise about. I learn to handle rejected ideas... wow! that's really alot! yea, thank God He made me grow :D
Learned to handle stress as well and saw my weaknesses in handling emotions, not prioritising my schedule, passiveness in many things... remembered God revealed to me that this will be season of exploration and self-discovery..so its half come to pass already i think, and the most important thing for me to do now is to make sure that i really make sense...and i keep the experience with me and not leave them behind..
Want to really remind myself to always go back to God's love which compels me to do whatever i'm doing =)
1 Corinthians 9:24-27
24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
yup, very important verse that i want to hold on to and never ever let go!
well, mainly busy because of ESS publicity.. cos the deadline is horribly near!! coming saturday will be our first publicity, that's like 5 days away only!!
yea, the things to be tied down now are the invite cards, the publicity clips..
but really am very thankful for this team..everyone is so hyped up to serve, i don't feel a tinge of reluctance to sacrifice time for the benefit of the ESS production...that i feel really amazed by how God prepared their hearts to serve.. though not the first time serving in a publicity team (previously served in communcations for UNI-YA Camp), i looked at this opportunity to serve as something new, a chance for me to learn and discover more about myself, and i want to see God working in me through this!
Definitely there do are things i learn and grow in already..i learn to maintain the good attitude, i learn to accept and submit to what the leaders ask for or criticise about. I learn to handle rejected ideas... wow! that's really alot! yea, thank God He made me grow :D
Learned to handle stress as well and saw my weaknesses in handling emotions, not prioritising my schedule, passiveness in many things... remembered God revealed to me that this will be season of exploration and self-discovery..so its half come to pass already i think, and the most important thing for me to do now is to make sure that i really make sense...and i keep the experience with me and not leave them behind..
Want to really remind myself to always go back to God's love which compels me to do whatever i'm doing =)
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Refreshness from God
Recently really embarking on a journey of self-discovery together with God. Although it didn't happen as i expected.. I wanted people to write something for me to reflect upon. and it just happen that all of them took extra long time, i hadn't receive anything yet though i asked for them since the previous entry.
However, i could feel that i am being more sensitive to my actions, behaviour and response to things happening around me and gain some self-discovery.
Here's some more significant ones..
1. Prefers to go personal
Shares really limited stuff at group setting but can be very open in one-to-one talks
2. I face struggles in accountability
only want to share out of the overflow of the heart. otherwise i with-hold things, refuse to report to leaders. (need to grow cos i still cannot grow by myself to want to do this)
3. Lack of a specific emphasis in speech and leaves the audience puzzled on what is the point i want to bring across.
yup, i really think there are still things for me to discover. but currently feel kind of drained. need to seek God. seek God to refresh me. refresh my desire to become more equipped in personality and skill. refresh me to do His work. i need a touch by God. A touch that will encourage and comfort me..
However, i could feel that i am being more sensitive to my actions, behaviour and response to things happening around me and gain some self-discovery.
Here's some more significant ones..
1. Prefers to go personal
Shares really limited stuff at group setting but can be very open in one-to-one talks
2. I face struggles in accountability
only want to share out of the overflow of the heart. otherwise i with-hold things, refuse to report to leaders. (need to grow cos i still cannot grow by myself to want to do this)
3. Lack of a specific emphasis in speech and leaves the audience puzzled on what is the point i want to bring across.
yup, i really think there are still things for me to discover. but currently feel kind of drained. need to seek God. seek God to refresh me. refresh my desire to become more equipped in personality and skill. refresh me to do His work. i need a touch by God. A touch that will encourage and comfort me..
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Season of self-discovery
oppsy, i didn't blog for almost two weeks!!
yup, kind of busy with some stuff =) but still was fulfilling =)
ended the 10-day fast already, it was a time where i could really focus more on God and understand better what He wants me to do at this moment and really thankful that God placed people in my life to help me have a direction, particularly sengkim and calyn who both met up with to talk about this. now i'm really clear what i want to do to prepare myself for greater service to God during this holiday where i do have quite a luxury of time. it is a time to reflect and discover about myself, a time for me to take things slowly and have a stop-check on what exactly is going on in my life. Cos the truth is i really do not really understand myself sometimes =( emotions sometimes take over and yet sometimes i need to convince things logically..seems quite confusing to me and many times i ask myself questions, i will have this feeling that it won't be the same at another time, for example now i say i'm fully convinced that i am in God's plan despite being in a course that i struggle in alot and really don't like but i really am unsure whether the answer will still be the same when the semester starts and i don't really know what i do help. that's kind of the irritating part that i want to work on to be able make sure that i will make wrong decisions at any point of time. Self-understanding is crucial.
here's what i'm gonna do:
- self-awareness: don't let go of any negative feelings, find the root of it and see what's not right about my mindset that has caused this feeling. is it just a random thought? is it bcos of insecurity? it is bcos of jealousy? ...
- humility: letting God to prune me, show me the negative things about me and convict me to change/ improve, not to put me down but to make myself even more fruitful =)
- heart towards growth and maturity for the sake of God's Kingdom: check my heart of doing this; it is not bcos i want to do this to make myself a pleasant person in other's eyes but to make myself pleasing and faithful vessel that God uses to do His works, His great and mighty works =)
Okie, readers, do pray for me that this season of self-discovery will be fruitful =)
Thank God for many blessings =)
yup, kind of busy with some stuff =) but still was fulfilling =)
ended the 10-day fast already, it was a time where i could really focus more on God and understand better what He wants me to do at this moment and really thankful that God placed people in my life to help me have a direction, particularly sengkim and calyn who both met up with to talk about this. now i'm really clear what i want to do to prepare myself for greater service to God during this holiday where i do have quite a luxury of time. it is a time to reflect and discover about myself, a time for me to take things slowly and have a stop-check on what exactly is going on in my life. Cos the truth is i really do not really understand myself sometimes =( emotions sometimes take over and yet sometimes i need to convince things logically..seems quite confusing to me and many times i ask myself questions, i will have this feeling that it won't be the same at another time, for example now i say i'm fully convinced that i am in God's plan despite being in a course that i struggle in alot and really don't like but i really am unsure whether the answer will still be the same when the semester starts and i don't really know what i do help. that's kind of the irritating part that i want to work on to be able make sure that i will make wrong decisions at any point of time. Self-understanding is crucial.
here's what i'm gonna do:
- self-awareness: don't let go of any negative feelings, find the root of it and see what's not right about my mindset that has caused this feeling. is it just a random thought? is it bcos of insecurity? it is bcos of jealousy? ...
- humility: letting God to prune me, show me the negative things about me and convict me to change/ improve, not to put me down but to make myself even more fruitful =)
- heart towards growth and maturity for the sake of God's Kingdom: check my heart of doing this; it is not bcos i want to do this to make myself a pleasant person in other's eyes but to make myself pleasing and faithful vessel that God uses to do His works, His great and mighty works =)
Okie, readers, do pray for me that this season of self-discovery will be fruitful =)
Thank God for many blessings =)
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Called community fasting
Had a sermon last week, by Ps. Michael and he talked about End Time Revival - Repentance that Leads to Revival. Was just very refreshed by the second point he talked about, community repentance. The verses he quoted was Joel 2:15-16
During the past few meetings, we have already been identifying areas that we need to repent from and have our hearts aligned with God, so now is the time that we carry them out in our lives to rid them and also draw closer to God.
To add on to what i mentioned in the previous post about fasting, i think the most important thing that we want to remind ourselves when we fast is that nothing can ensnare us from seeking God.
yup, so to share with you, the list that i made to fast from in this ten-days...
1. Lunch
depending on God alone to satisfy. Physical hunger will allow me to realise spiritual
hunger and feed on WOG
2. Chocolate
I can be reliant on chocolate to adjust my mood sometimes, always crave for choco when
having bad mood..
3. Going to bed after 1am
Unhealthy habit, not taking care of physical health
4. Sleeping for more than 8 hrs per day
Lazy habit, adequate rest is essential but sleeping too much ain't healthy too
5. Milo/any drink with milk in the morning
Have developed a reliance on it; it has become a must-have for me in the morning, so i wana
try and rid of any possible 'addiction'
6. Talking to stuffed soft/plush toy
finding comfort in unpractical manner, should instead talk to God or a fellow believer
7. Humanizing Rennie (my pet hamster)
creates emotional reliance on pet
8. Stoning on bus
idle-ing, unproductive, time could have been spent praying, reflecting or repenting
9. Dwelling in negative thoughts
magnifying problems instead of God
10. playing with nails
Bad habit that weakens my nails
Notice i not only mention the specific action/behaviour i wish to fast from, but also the reason why i want/need to carry out this fasting. Because this is not an opportunity to make myself appear spiritual but because i want fasting to be the tool for myself (not God) to see whether i am truly consecrating myself to God, not part of me but everything of me belongs to God.
Meditating on the passage Isaiah 58 =)
15 Blow the trumpet in Zion,
declare a holy fast,
call a sacred assembly.16 Gather the people,
consecrate the assembly;
bring together the elders,
gather the children,
those nursing at the breast.
Let the bridegroom leave his room
and the bride her chamber.
Indeed God wishes for all of us to be involved. Every member in the community ought to take part to repent and to be consecrated to God =)
During the past few meetings, we have already been identifying areas that we need to repent from and have our hearts aligned with God, so now is the time that we carry them out in our lives to rid them and also draw closer to God.
To add on to what i mentioned in the previous post about fasting, i think the most important thing that we want to remind ourselves when we fast is that nothing can ensnare us from seeking God.
yup, so to share with you, the list that i made to fast from in this ten-days...
1. Lunch
depending on God alone to satisfy. Physical hunger will allow me to realise spiritual
hunger and feed on WOG
2. Chocolate
I can be reliant on chocolate to adjust my mood sometimes, always crave for choco when
having bad mood..
3. Going to bed after 1am
Unhealthy habit, not taking care of physical health
4. Sleeping for more than 8 hrs per day
Lazy habit, adequate rest is essential but sleeping too much ain't healthy too
5. Milo/any drink with milk in the morning
Have developed a reliance on it; it has become a must-have for me in the morning, so i wana
try and rid of any possible 'addiction'
6. Talking to stuffed soft/plush toy
finding comfort in unpractical manner, should instead talk to God or a fellow believer
7. Humanizing Rennie (my pet hamster)
creates emotional reliance on pet
8. Stoning on bus
idle-ing, unproductive, time could have been spent praying, reflecting or repenting
9. Dwelling in negative thoughts
magnifying problems instead of God
10. playing with nails
Bad habit that weakens my nails
Notice i not only mention the specific action/behaviour i wish to fast from, but also the reason why i want/need to carry out this fasting. Because this is not an opportunity to make myself appear spiritual but because i want fasting to be the tool for myself (not God) to see whether i am truly consecrating myself to God, not part of me but everything of me belongs to God.
Meditating on the passage Isaiah 58 =)
True Fasting
1 "Shout it aloud, do not hold back.
Raise your voice like a trumpet.
Declare to my people their rebellion
and to the house of Jacob their sins.2 For day after day they seek me out;
they seem eager to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that does what is right
and has not forsaken the commands of its God.
They ask me for just decisions
and seem eager for God to come near them.3 'Why have we fasted,' they say,
'and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?'
"Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.4 Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
and expect your voice to be heard on high.5 Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD ?6 "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.13 "If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the LORD's holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,14 then you will find your joy in the LORD,
and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob."
The mouth of the LORD has spoken.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
True Fasting
hi there, all readers..
cos my leader told the caregroup to fast tmr dinner together, i thought of posting this post about fasting, to remind myself the true meaning of fasting...
For me i did not receive any teaching on fasting before. It was difficult for me to understand at first how can fasting help in my prayer life. but, i was inquisitive enough to read up on it myself *pat on the back* lol yup, so today's sharing is mainly from a section of the book Spiritual Disciplines Handbook by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun.
Firstly, some examples of fasting in the OT are 1 Samuel 7:6, Nehemiah 1:4 and Esther 4:16. The characters fasted as they needed strength and mercy to persevere. Jesus, in the NT, also fasted before healings and to overcome temptation. This can be found in Matthew 4:2. That was before Jesus began His ministry.
One very important thing to note is fasting is not a magical guarantee that whatever you ask for, God would answer! We do not use fasting to manipulate God's plan to our plan. Fasting should be used to help us to intentionally open ourselves up to seek God's will.
The definition of fasting, given by this book is: A fast is the self-denial of normal necessities in order to intentionally attend to God in prayer. Bring attachments and cravings to the surface opens a place for prayer. This physical awareness of emptiness is the reminder to turn to Jesus who alone can satisfy.
This definition tells me the 'power' of fasting. Sometimes, our schedule is so busy, we don't find time to dwell in the presence of God, we just carry on with the things that we need to complete, without recognising the very presence of God, who is there to complete the work for you. Fasting, offers us the time, which originally will be used in self-indulgence, to now focus on God, one-on-one. Our attention on God is no longer shared with doing our own things.
Another important point to note about fasting is that it is a practice of self-denial. Through fasting of food, shopping, gaming... we realise how much control these things have over our lives. and we had not intended for that to happen. The practice of fasting can help us gain back control and stop us from self-indulging. Moreover, we all strive to lay down our lives, dying to ourselves and consecrate ourselves for God, because this is the only way for us to truly live life to the fullest, the life God intended for us. Self-denial is a process of human subtraction and divine addition, otherwise known as divine exchange. Feed on Jesus, the bread of life!
Finally, I really want to carry on my fasting, knowing that I must do this because God can give me grace, comfort and nurture that I can't find on my own!
cos my leader told the caregroup to fast tmr dinner together, i thought of posting this post about fasting, to remind myself the true meaning of fasting...
For me i did not receive any teaching on fasting before. It was difficult for me to understand at first how can fasting help in my prayer life. but, i was inquisitive enough to read up on it myself *pat on the back* lol yup, so today's sharing is mainly from a section of the book Spiritual Disciplines Handbook by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun.
Firstly, some examples of fasting in the OT are 1 Samuel 7:6, Nehemiah 1:4 and Esther 4:16. The characters fasted as they needed strength and mercy to persevere. Jesus, in the NT, also fasted before healings and to overcome temptation. This can be found in Matthew 4:2. That was before Jesus began His ministry.
One very important thing to note is fasting is not a magical guarantee that whatever you ask for, God would answer! We do not use fasting to manipulate God's plan to our plan. Fasting should be used to help us to intentionally open ourselves up to seek God's will.
The definition of fasting, given by this book is: A fast is the self-denial of normal necessities in order to intentionally attend to God in prayer. Bring attachments and cravings to the surface opens a place for prayer. This physical awareness of emptiness is the reminder to turn to Jesus who alone can satisfy.
This definition tells me the 'power' of fasting. Sometimes, our schedule is so busy, we don't find time to dwell in the presence of God, we just carry on with the things that we need to complete, without recognising the very presence of God, who is there to complete the work for you. Fasting, offers us the time, which originally will be used in self-indulgence, to now focus on God, one-on-one. Our attention on God is no longer shared with doing our own things.
Another important point to note about fasting is that it is a practice of self-denial. Through fasting of food, shopping, gaming... we realise how much control these things have over our lives. and we had not intended for that to happen. The practice of fasting can help us gain back control and stop us from self-indulging. Moreover, we all strive to lay down our lives, dying to ourselves and consecrate ourselves for God, because this is the only way for us to truly live life to the fullest, the life God intended for us. Self-denial is a process of human subtraction and divine addition, otherwise known as divine exchange. Feed on Jesus, the bread of life!
Finally, I really want to carry on my fasting, knowing that I must do this because God can give me grace, comfort and nurture that I can't find on my own!
Friday, May 29, 2009
By Faith...then should i still search for answers?
Finally, do tune in for more in the next post! Cos that is not the end...shall discuss that God does not intend for us to understand certain things and also whether we should still look for evidence to support our faith and what heart attitude we should have towards the search for evidence =)
Yup, as mentioned in previous post, there are things which we find difficult to understand, and that is perfectly okay, because certain things are intended not for us to understand, at least at the moment...
Matthew 26:26-29
Yup, as mentioned in previous post, there are things which we find difficult to understand, and that is perfectly okay, because certain things are intended not for us to understand, at least at the moment...
Matthew 26:26-29
26While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take and eat; this is my body."27Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you. 28This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. 29I tell you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it anew with you in my Father's kingdom."
Do you think the disciples understood what Jesus was talking about? If i didn't remember wrongly SK said before they must be thinking why is Jesus talking about cannibalism??!
yup, Jesus did not intend for them to understand these things at that moment, however, now we all know that Jesus was commanding the disciples to take this Holy Communion in remembrance of Jesus, which symbolises the covenant Jesus has with all who believes in Him and are saved.
Another example is the exact time for the End of Age. God reveals to us the Signs of the End of Edge.
Matthew 24
1Jesus left the temple and was walking away when his disciples came up to him to call his attention to its buildings. 2"Do you see all these things?" he asked. "I tell you the truth, not one stone here will be left on another; every one will be thrown down."
3As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately. "Tell us," they said, "when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?"
4Jesus answered: "Watch out that no one deceives you. 5For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ, and will deceive many. 6You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. 7Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. 8All these are the beginning of birth pains.
9"Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. 10At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. 14And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.
15"So when you see standing in the holy place 'the abomination that causes desolation, spoken of through the prophet Daniel—let the reader understand— 16then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains. 17Let no one on the roof of his house go down to take anything out of the house. 18Let no one in the field go back to get his cloak. 19How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers! 20Pray that your flight will not take place in winter or on the Sabbath. 21For then there will be great distress, unequaled from the beginning of the world until now—and never to be equaled again. 22If those days had not been cut short, no one would survive, but for the sake of the elect those days will be shortened. 23At that time if anyone says to you, 'Look, here is the Christ!' or, 'There he is!' do not believe it. 24For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect—if that were possible. 25See, I have told you ahead of time.
26"So if anyone tells you, 'There he is, out in the desert,' do not go out; or, 'Here he is, in the inner rooms,' do not believe it. 27For as lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. 28Wherever there is a carcass, there the vultures will gather.
29"Immediately after the distress of those days
" 'the sun will be darkened,
and the moon will not give its light;
the stars will fall from the sky,
and the heavenly bodies will be shaken.'30"At that time the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and all the nations of the earth will mourn. They will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky, with power and great glory. 31And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.
32"Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near. 33Even so, when you see all these things, you know that it is near, right at the door. 34I tell you the truth, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. 35Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.
The Day and Hour Unknown
36"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. 37As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. 38For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; 39and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. 40Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. 41Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.42"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. 43But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. 44So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.
45"Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time? 46It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns. 47I tell you the truth, he will put him in charge of all his possessions. 48But suppose that servant is wicked and says to himself, 'My master is staying away a long time,' 49and he then begins to beat his fellow servants and to eat and drink with drunkards. 50The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. 51He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
In this chapter, God clearly tells us why has this been hidden from us.. He intends for us to be always on our guard, no one knows when the thief will come so we should always be on our guard. Not so sure how to explain my understanding of this, but this passage makes sense to me clearly that God did this for our sake, for our good. ... ...Maybe that says i need to pray for gift of teaching?! lol
Yup, so what should we do when we meet with something we don't understand? Not do anything and trust that God has hidden it from us? NO! Look at this passage..
Matthew 13:1-23
1That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. 2Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. 3Then he told them many things in parables, saying: "A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. 9He who has ears, let him hear."
10The disciples came to him and asked, "Why do you speak to the people in parables?"
11He replied, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. 12Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 13This is why I speak to them in parables:
"Though seeing, they do not see;
though hearing, they do not hear or understand. 14In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:
" 'You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
15For this people's heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.' 16But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. 17For I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous men longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.18"Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: 19When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path. 20The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. 21But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away. 22The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. 23But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown."
Sometimes we do not understand certain things not because God hides them from us, but because Satan and our own sinful nature stands in the way. Our hearts are hardened and refuse to let God speak, therefore, we cannot understand what God is doing in our lives.
So what do we do? how can we differentiate between the two cases? the key is when you have a doubt, ask yourselves this question...
Why do I want to understand this, will it change my faith?
Because, bear in mind God's purpose for creating us, He created us for a relationship with us, He wouldn't want us to doubt Him. The main point is, if a doubt shakens your faith, that doubt is the result of Satan's work. Things that God did not intend for us to understand should not change our desire to love God more and more. One example is Who created God?
To answer this, first and foremost question your own faith...
Why do you believe in God?
Why did you establish the relationship with God and cherish this relationship?
Because God loved us and showed His love for us tangibly through Jesus Christ and the cross. If this is the reason for your faith, does who created God matter?
To conclude, really want to urge readers to not handle your doubts lightly, imprint in your heart the FULL picture of God, not who you want Him to be. Let God be God, and me, i want to be His faithful and submissive servant.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
By Faith...
its time to revive my blog!! its been in coma since february which is 3months ago!! need to do resusitation,hahaha.. kk enough of crap..cos today i really wan2 post about something serious..
Btw also want to change the style of the blog, which will be more relevant for readers rather than an outlet to express my inner thoughts, so hope you'll enjoy.. (got this inspiration by my brother and cos of the blog that SK created for NYCA1 to post reflections as we did the daily devotions before the camp. anyway,haha korkor started a blog !the one who once told me blogging is wuliao!lol) just to be clear, what i'm going to share shall be the areas that God has spoken to my life and how i also want to grow. like Cassie says, "I am a work in progress," so am i =) and i want to share 'em because i have grown in knowing God more through these and so that all of us may grow together!
Bcos the matriculation period is coming, we are going to have a few session of teaching mainly to prepare our hearts for this period of harvest! woohoo! the first session was last saturday at Tiomthy's (this was intentionally spelt this way, haha) condo lounge. and the topic was Power of the message of the cross.
Was very refreshed by the teaching at the same time was put to shame as God revealed areas that i aren't fully obedient to Him..But that ain't my focus today...
We were asked to read and meditate on the verse 1 Cor. 1:18
To me, the main thing i catch from this verse is to highlight the difference in what the cross means to us and to the non-believers. Slightly swayed in thinking by a book i once read...there are many things that we believers accept by faith. this does not mean that Christians are blind believers but that we believe because we once trusted and God has shown Himself to be faithful therefore we choose to trust again and again. and time to time, non-believers may question us why we believe and accept certain things about God even if we do not know the evidence or the evidence does not even exist. Examples of such question would include: How do know you will go to heaven? Has anyone you know gone to heaven and come back to tell you? or even What makes you so sure that everthing in the bible is true? The bible is all written by men, how do you know what they write is the truth? There is no archaelogical evidence of every single event, even though the existence of Jesus is undenied. Sometimes we get stunned by such questions and even turn defensive. we need to understand that it is our faith that helped us to believe and be truthful about this towards the non-believer.
You may think this would cause the non-believer to think that Christians are irrational or even robots that accept everything written in the bible but i believe that seeing this as an opportunity to share your experience with God would be a good approach. Let them know that in many things we carry out in our lives we exercise faith. A leader once said, "We dare to take the bus because we have faith and trusted that the bus driver has a license; We eat the food from the hawker centre because we have faith that the food is clean." How is this faith built up? cos of the systems and regulations or even through experiences. Similarly our faith in God is built up. It is built upon the consistency of the bible, the evidence we have about certain things in the bible, the experiences and testimonies that others have with God that proved God always has the best plan and also our own experiences with God. These help us to accept that the whole bible is inspired by God. And we can go on to share the areas God has shown His presence and His faithfulness in our lives. Even, ask the person, if that same thing happens to him, would he not praise God and believe Him?
To end off, i would like to talk about the passage in Hebrews 11, By Faith.
Hebrews 11:1
This verse is basically the essence of what i had shared above..*pat on my back* (cos what i shared can be proven from the bible!! ensure that it is biblical!haha).. the passaege goes on mainly to talk about the people in the past(old testament) doing many many wonderful works instructed by the Lord out of faith, ie. they carried out their work not knowing what the results will be or even not understanding how will a good outcome come out of whatever they are doing.
Just want to say that as we go about sharing the gospel, do not be discourage that you are unable to answer to these questions or even let your faith waver but be glad, be glad that God has grown in you this faith to believe in Him!
Of course there are much much more that we can pick out from that verse (God's word is ever so powerful! =DD) but shall stop here....
Finally, do tune in for more in the next post! Cos that is not the end...shall discuss that God does not intend for us to understand certain things and also whether we should still look for evidence to support our faith and what heart attitude we should have towards the search for evidence =)
Shall also be faithful with posting in this blog from now on, that i will post at least once on this blog every week, unless i have relevant reasons =))
Btw also want to change the style of the blog, which will be more relevant for readers rather than an outlet to express my inner thoughts, so hope you'll enjoy.. (got this inspiration by my brother and cos of the blog that SK created for NYCA1 to post reflections as we did the daily devotions before the camp. anyway,haha korkor started a blog !the one who once told me blogging is wuliao!lol) just to be clear, what i'm going to share shall be the areas that God has spoken to my life and how i also want to grow. like Cassie says, "I am a work in progress," so am i =) and i want to share 'em because i have grown in knowing God more through these and so that all of us may grow together!
Bcos the matriculation period is coming, we are going to have a few session of teaching mainly to prepare our hearts for this period of harvest! woohoo! the first session was last saturday at Tiomthy's (this was intentionally spelt this way, haha) condo lounge. and the topic was Power of the message of the cross.
Was very refreshed by the teaching at the same time was put to shame as God revealed areas that i aren't fully obedient to Him..But that ain't my focus today...
We were asked to read and meditate on the verse 1 Cor. 1:18
"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to those who are being saved it is the power of God."What does this verse mean to me and what power does it have?
To me, the main thing i catch from this verse is to highlight the difference in what the cross means to us and to the non-believers. Slightly swayed in thinking by a book i once read...there are many things that we believers accept by faith. this does not mean that Christians are blind believers but that we believe because we once trusted and God has shown Himself to be faithful therefore we choose to trust again and again. and time to time, non-believers may question us why we believe and accept certain things about God even if we do not know the evidence or the evidence does not even exist. Examples of such question would include: How do know you will go to heaven? Has anyone you know gone to heaven and come back to tell you? or even What makes you so sure that everthing in the bible is true? The bible is all written by men, how do you know what they write is the truth? There is no archaelogical evidence of every single event, even though the existence of Jesus is undenied. Sometimes we get stunned by such questions and even turn defensive. we need to understand that it is our faith that helped us to believe and be truthful about this towards the non-believer.
You may think this would cause the non-believer to think that Christians are irrational or even robots that accept everything written in the bible but i believe that seeing this as an opportunity to share your experience with God would be a good approach. Let them know that in many things we carry out in our lives we exercise faith. A leader once said, "We dare to take the bus because we have faith and trusted that the bus driver has a license; We eat the food from the hawker centre because we have faith that the food is clean." How is this faith built up? cos of the systems and regulations or even through experiences. Similarly our faith in God is built up. It is built upon the consistency of the bible, the evidence we have about certain things in the bible, the experiences and testimonies that others have with God that proved God always has the best plan and also our own experiences with God. These help us to accept that the whole bible is inspired by God. And we can go on to share the areas God has shown His presence and His faithfulness in our lives. Even, ask the person, if that same thing happens to him, would he not praise God and believe Him?
To end off, i would like to talk about the passage in Hebrews 11, By Faith.
Hebrews 11:1
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
This verse is basically the essence of what i had shared above..*pat on my back* (cos what i shared can be proven from the bible!! ensure that it is biblical!haha).. the passaege goes on mainly to talk about the people in the past(old testament) doing many many wonderful works instructed by the Lord out of faith, ie. they carried out their work not knowing what the results will be or even not understanding how will a good outcome come out of whatever they are doing.
Just want to say that as we go about sharing the gospel, do not be discourage that you are unable to answer to these questions or even let your faith waver but be glad, be glad that God has grown in you this faith to believe in Him!
Of course there are much much more that we can pick out from that verse (God's word is ever so powerful! =DD) but shall stop here....
Finally, do tune in for more in the next post! Cos that is not the end...shall discuss that God does not intend for us to understand certain things and also whether we should still look for evidence to support our faith and what heart attitude we should have towards the search for evidence =)
Shall also be faithful with posting in this blog from now on, that i will post at least once on this blog every week, unless i have relevant reasons =))
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Praise GOD!!
yup, gotta testimony to share! woohoo its really exciting and amazing walk with God! here goes...
Have not been feeling well lately, had fever 3weeks ago on 30jan then took quite some time to recover then after that last week had headache everyday however was not exactly consistent headache comes and goes sometimes but most of the time i'm having headache, yup. then last sat during service was really feeling weak during worship i could feel myself can faint anytime but i didn't then after that go back to seat my limbs were numb i couldn't even hold my pen to write sermon notes. told my cg members after service and they prayed for me. felt slightly better after praying. then luckily after dinner xuan an (a brother from eng how's cg) drove me home.
then after that monday was having guitar lesson, halfway through i wanted to go toilet and was walking halfway i could not feel my legs at all and hurried to grab the railing nearby after that corinna and jingying and huimin came to help me. but that could be bcos of the super cold room we were in. after that felt super tired so just put my head down and rest. then my head start to feel really ache and my head felt heavy and could not lift my head. might have gotten a fever then. then sihui cabbed me home.
then tuesday was okay, but i skipped a tutorial in the morning. then wed is the worse i went to school feeling okay but had to walk long distance from HQ to south spine and back.i felt great discomfort while walking so went to rest at HQ and brothers and sisters told me to go see a doctor so after that kor brought me to medical centre. the doc was quite irresponsible just ask and did not diagnose and said i had persistent headache cos body fatigue and just gave me headache pills. but i really wasn't feeling that good so yanyu volunteered to send me home and off we went.
after i got home i realize i have fever but mummy was away for tuition no one to bring me to see doc and i had mid term the next day morning 8.30am. but there was nothing i could do i took fever medicine and rested. the next day i still had fever so skipped my mid term and told mummy to brint me to the doctor. then i still had fever on friday so skipped school again.
Saturday felt better but not fully recovered so went for service.
However the bus i took was very cold and it was a long journey i started to feel unwell again.then after that service, btw ytd was combined service at suntec convention hall was first combined service of the year and it's to prepare us and give a direction for the year. yup so we were sitting at the top and was quite unstable.furthermore praise and worship people jump, all i felt was giddiness. after that michelle offered to bring me down to 'stable land'. down there was better but still not feeling too good. after praise and worship when we wanted to head back to our seats, when i just started walking i could see things moving so quickly grab michelle's hand. throughout sermon was not feeling well and did not focus alot, until the end when pastor jeff shared about why he joined hope... then i began to have more focus. then during the end worship i sang and God just impress upon my heart just told me these words: kneel down and repent. it was a soft and gentle voice, not angry not urgent, just how God always is. at first i did hesitated but i realise how real God had always been and how faithful He is whenever i obeyed, so i knelt down. i repented, Lord search me and tell all that is within me that is not right; i do not want to trust in my own plans; i want to trust in You Lord; help me Lord to look to You and not my troubles; remind me when i'm overwhelmed that You are mighty and You will save. then i suddenly remembered how come now i'm able to focus so well on God? cos previously sihui was sharing with me about her experienc with God during her cl training and she asked me how my week was and all i could tell her is i'm so sick i can't even focus on God. then that is when i realise i'm healed by God. i am fully healed by God, i do not feel any discomfort at all, i do not feel weak i do not feel any headache i do not feel giddy or nauseous. Thank you God !
i really think God wants me to use this testimony to remind others and bless others that having the heart of repentance as well as trust in Him allows us to claim His promises, all His promises =D
Have not been feeling well lately, had fever 3weeks ago on 30jan then took quite some time to recover then after that last week had headache everyday however was not exactly consistent headache comes and goes sometimes but most of the time i'm having headache, yup. then last sat during service was really feeling weak during worship i could feel myself can faint anytime but i didn't then after that go back to seat my limbs were numb i couldn't even hold my pen to write sermon notes. told my cg members after service and they prayed for me. felt slightly better after praying. then luckily after dinner xuan an (a brother from eng how's cg) drove me home.
then after that monday was having guitar lesson, halfway through i wanted to go toilet and was walking halfway i could not feel my legs at all and hurried to grab the railing nearby after that corinna and jingying and huimin came to help me. but that could be bcos of the super cold room we were in. after that felt super tired so just put my head down and rest. then my head start to feel really ache and my head felt heavy and could not lift my head. might have gotten a fever then. then sihui cabbed me home.
then tuesday was okay, but i skipped a tutorial in the morning. then wed is the worse i went to school feeling okay but had to walk long distance from HQ to south spine and back.i felt great discomfort while walking so went to rest at HQ and brothers and sisters told me to go see a doctor so after that kor brought me to medical centre. the doc was quite irresponsible just ask and did not diagnose and said i had persistent headache cos body fatigue and just gave me headache pills. but i really wasn't feeling that good so yanyu volunteered to send me home and off we went.
after i got home i realize i have fever but mummy was away for tuition no one to bring me to see doc and i had mid term the next day morning 8.30am. but there was nothing i could do i took fever medicine and rested. the next day i still had fever so skipped my mid term and told mummy to brint me to the doctor. then i still had fever on friday so skipped school again.
Saturday felt better but not fully recovered so went for service.
However the bus i took was very cold and it was a long journey i started to feel unwell again.then after that service, btw ytd was combined service at suntec convention hall was first combined service of the year and it's to prepare us and give a direction for the year. yup so we were sitting at the top and was quite unstable.furthermore praise and worship people jump, all i felt was giddiness. after that michelle offered to bring me down to 'stable land'. down there was better but still not feeling too good. after praise and worship when we wanted to head back to our seats, when i just started walking i could see things moving so quickly grab michelle's hand. throughout sermon was not feeling well and did not focus alot, until the end when pastor jeff shared about why he joined hope... then i began to have more focus. then during the end worship i sang and God just impress upon my heart just told me these words: kneel down and repent. it was a soft and gentle voice, not angry not urgent, just how God always is. at first i did hesitated but i realise how real God had always been and how faithful He is whenever i obeyed, so i knelt down. i repented, Lord search me and tell all that is within me that is not right; i do not want to trust in my own plans; i want to trust in You Lord; help me Lord to look to You and not my troubles; remind me when i'm overwhelmed that You are mighty and You will save. then i suddenly remembered how come now i'm able to focus so well on God? cos previously sihui was sharing with me about her experienc with God during her cl training and she asked me how my week was and all i could tell her is i'm so sick i can't even focus on God. then that is when i realise i'm healed by God. i am fully healed by God, i do not feel any discomfort at all, i do not feel weak i do not feel any headache i do not feel giddy or nauseous. Thank you God !
i really think God wants me to use this testimony to remind others and bless others that having the heart of repentance as well as trust in Him allows us to claim His promises, all His promises =D
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