This week had been feeling rather dry and tired...it's actually not a xiong week for me... only had a lab report, one homework, normal workload for me... but really feel quite sian, everytime i want to study, i ended up just starring at the notes and can't focus in lectures as well, either keep dozing off or start stoning...yea then cos i keep feeling tired, i slept earlier too... usually i sleep at 2plus but these few days only went to bed between 12 to 2am... so i don't understand why also and i have been having quite bad headaches in the morning during the week... dunno why..
yea anyway, want to move on the talk about the things that traumatised me... ytd went home late cos of shepherding... yup then was taking 180 home with chee harn...yup then there was this road junction which i saw two ambulance and a police car... then, being curious, i looked out further and saw something on the ground which, at first i couldn't recognise was a crushed motorcycle... i think it's only about half the original size already... and there was alot of blood on the ground around it... and the blood looked as if it was splattered out..scary... and the civil defence people covered something which i think is the body of the motorcyclist... i was rather scared and didn't want to admit that the motorcyclist died during the crash... so i didn't tell chee harn about what i saw, i just told him a there is a car accident and omitted the part about the body... i think death to me is really something scary, that's why i really don't want to admit that they had pronounced the motorcyclist dead, even though it is quite obvious, how else will they cover up the whole body?
yup, and that wasn't enough, today i dropped off the bus when it reached my bus stop and just after taking a few steps, i saw the police tape used to close the pathway to go to the lake just opposite my house... then i saw a big crowd and several civil defence vehicles and police car... oh no! something bad happened again?! yup, i half wanted to go and take a look at what happened but also very afraid that i would see death again, so in the end i quickly rushed home, so that i could ask my parents whether they know what happened... on the way i just thought, even i feel so much about these people, what about their family, those who are close to them, their loved ones? what will they be feeling?
then i just thought that actually i could very easily be one of them... people close to me, my loved ones, my family, my friends, they are not in any way accident-free; disaster-immune... i could have to face such thing anytime, though i really pray i would not... Then i just thought whether God might want to speak to me through this things that i see... i think this might be a reminder to share the Gospel with urgency, especially to my loved ones...i really want to do my 100% to make sure they know about God and how important God is in their lives before i lose the chance to do so...
Anyway, after that reached home and asked my parents, they told me the news reported that they had expected that 2 boys were washed off by the strong current in the drain due to the rainwater from the heavy downpour in the afternoon..
Feeling sad and emo now... God please restore me... give me strength to move on, i know that dwelling in such sorrow will not bring about anything good, so God help me to move on, i want to make a difference....
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