Sunday, October 03, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
didn't know daytona can make me so dizzy
i'm just feeling bored so came to blog... ytd played only one game of daytona and i could stand up after that =( anyway iluma has the one arcade that does not have a single daytona machine!!
Monday, September 06, 2010
something to work on...
was having lecture and multi-tasking.... haha i have tendency to multi-task even though i'm not very good at it!! haha especially when what i have to do is something boring!! hahah
yea, and i was just listening to lecture and thinking about a teaching!! haha spiritual enough? LOL.
Anyway the lecturer just mentioned that many times we tend to work from solution to problem instead of looking at the problem and working out a solution. Obviously the latter will help us arrive at a much better solution, yet many times we tend to choose the easier way out and remain stubborn trying to fit our solution into the problem. Just find this statement very inspiring and applicable in almost every area and really help us to improve ourselves.
And since i was also thinking about the teaching which reminded us that where we are is where God place us and there is a purpose for Him in doing so, and that what we are doing really is preparation of what is to come. Since the teaching was more of finding God purpose for placing us where we are, it helped me to realise once again that whatever we are learning right now are things that God, our Father wants us to be learning as well. To people like me, who don't really enjoy their studies, i think its all the more important to realise that no matter how uninteresting lectures are and how well-trained your teachers are in hypnothising, there definitely exist kingdom value in it, else you would be saying that God has made a mistake in placing you here!!
Understand that sometimes we do make decisions that actually make us fall out of God's perfect plan for us, but remember God promised omnipresence, that He'll be with us always, never forsaking us. So if God is around us, doesn't it make sense that His fingerprints will be all over the place in our lives? then doesn't it make sense to look closely everywhere about you to find God?
yea, and i was just listening to lecture and thinking about a teaching!! haha spiritual enough? LOL.
Anyway the lecturer just mentioned that many times we tend to work from solution to problem instead of looking at the problem and working out a solution. Obviously the latter will help us arrive at a much better solution, yet many times we tend to choose the easier way out and remain stubborn trying to fit our solution into the problem. Just find this statement very inspiring and applicable in almost every area and really help us to improve ourselves.
And since i was also thinking about the teaching which reminded us that where we are is where God place us and there is a purpose for Him in doing so, and that what we are doing really is preparation of what is to come. Since the teaching was more of finding God purpose for placing us where we are, it helped me to realise once again that whatever we are learning right now are things that God, our Father wants us to be learning as well. To people like me, who don't really enjoy their studies, i think its all the more important to realise that no matter how uninteresting lectures are and how well-trained your teachers are in hypnothising, there definitely exist kingdom value in it, else you would be saying that God has made a mistake in placing you here!!
Understand that sometimes we do make decisions that actually make us fall out of God's perfect plan for us, but remember God promised omnipresence, that He'll be with us always, never forsaking us. So if God is around us, doesn't it make sense that His fingerprints will be all over the place in our lives? then doesn't it make sense to look closely everywhere about you to find God?
Monday, August 16, 2010
Deep Wounds, Deep Healing (Book Review)
Deep Wounds, Deep Healing
By Charles H. Kraft
Some thoughts on experience of reading the book:
When I chance upon the book, there was immediately interest. I was actually only looking for a book that can help me, has an element of psychology (dealing with the deeper things in the human mind and behavior). But wasn’t sure about exploring inner healing cos I always thought that was only needed in far way more serious cases. However, still picked up the book to browse, skimming through the book I saw relevance and how I should be dealing with the negativities that I was struggling with during that time of my life. I knew the book would be useful but I still had doubts because the author wasn’t a well known one. Then I remembered the reason why am I looking at who the author is judging whether the book is good. And that is because they are more credible due to the wider readership, so I started asking myself , whether I’m mature enough to discern whether the text will be biblical and whether the book has strong biblical supports for the author’s claims. Finally decided to pick up the book after much confirmation from God.
Reading the book had been an exciting journey. It brought me to dig out many things within my heart that has been there for really long. Some really hurt to be dug out, but the book was encouraging enough to spur me on with the end goal I have in mind, to truly gain the complete freedom that God wants me to have. The book was also consciously reminding readers to do it (be it ministering to somebody else or desiring healing in one’s own self) together/ in partnership with God and to recognise what are God’s work and what are the things I have made it. I’m really blessed by the experience I’ve had in fellowshipping with God while reading the book. I gain greater self awareness and also God awareness and I know that God has healed me so that I can heal. Thus, I do hope that in some way, you too can be blessed by this review =)
Deep Wounds, Deep Healing is generally a book on inner healing.
• Good for those who is currently/wish to be ministering to those who have inner wounds affecting their lives and also those who are seeking help with their own inner wounds. This is not a self-help book though =)
• It provides understanding of what inner wounds are, how they come about, how it affects our lives and what it can lead to and how one should manage and partner with God to heal these wounds.
• Provides detailed and precise guidelines we can follow to minister healing that comes from God to suffering people.
1. Inner healing
• Dealing with the inner garbage within our lives which everyone has and should not be ignored. This is because it usually involves sin (usually anger and unforgiveness) and allows devils to have some control over us.
• It is all about receiving from God. Both the one receiving inner healing as well as the one ministering.
• It is about restoring our freedom given to us by God. Matt.11:28-30. By submitting our emotions to God. Giving God our rights to remain angry.
2. Damaged self-image of those hurting inside
• They are aware of sin, so don’t need to remind them.
• In the eyes of God, they are victims but they may condemn themselves for falling short of who God wants them to be.
• Help them by bringing them to see God being compassionate towards them and not help them see their sin because they already know. And also convicting of sin is the job of the Holy Spirit, not us. We are to minister love and bringing them to see restoration.
• Deepening relationship with God is what deep-level healing importantly brings about.
3. Largely affected by our responses to experiences
• The damage received by a person from a traumatic experience depends on how bad the situation had been and also how creative the person is.
• So don’t underestimate the damage just because the experience may not seem that bad.
4. Inner wounds can create a split personality
• A separate personality is developed due to a trauma. It may be deep sadness that create a personality that is dissociated from the person’s main personality
• In such cases, we need to allow the main self and the dissociated self to join back together.
• It is important that if the dissociated self existed before the person receives Christ, the dissociated self must be brought to receive Jesus first.
5. This book also talk about dealing with demons (due to our inner wounds, demons can reside within us and gain certain control over us even though the Holy Spirit lives in us)
• Demonization is not demon possession. Possession gives the connotation of full control but it is never the case that the demon can have full control over us; They can have some but not full control. Demons can only harm the areas that we are wounded and have sins.
• Therefore, the casting out of demon is usually not the crucial step. It is the healing of the internal garbage that truly stops the demon from coming back.
• Demons can be cast out easily in Jesus’ Name, but their presence in the person’s life is not the main problem, the main problem is the internal garbage which makes it possible for demons to reside.
Would like to end off with a sentence written in the book: Inner healing enables us to cherish even the worse moments on our lives. I certainly hope I’ll be able to do so, so it’s not the end of me receiving inner healing now that I have finished reading the book. I’m constantly checking for any damaged attitude towards myself, towards people and also towards God. I believe God wants to restore and heal me more =)
By Charles H. Kraft
Some thoughts on experience of reading the book:
When I chance upon the book, there was immediately interest. I was actually only looking for a book that can help me, has an element of psychology (dealing with the deeper things in the human mind and behavior). But wasn’t sure about exploring inner healing cos I always thought that was only needed in far way more serious cases. However, still picked up the book to browse, skimming through the book I saw relevance and how I should be dealing with the negativities that I was struggling with during that time of my life. I knew the book would be useful but I still had doubts because the author wasn’t a well known one. Then I remembered the reason why am I looking at who the author is judging whether the book is good. And that is because they are more credible due to the wider readership, so I started asking myself , whether I’m mature enough to discern whether the text will be biblical and whether the book has strong biblical supports for the author’s claims. Finally decided to pick up the book after much confirmation from God.
Reading the book had been an exciting journey. It brought me to dig out many things within my heart that has been there for really long. Some really hurt to be dug out, but the book was encouraging enough to spur me on with the end goal I have in mind, to truly gain the complete freedom that God wants me to have. The book was also consciously reminding readers to do it (be it ministering to somebody else or desiring healing in one’s own self) together/ in partnership with God and to recognise what are God’s work and what are the things I have made it. I’m really blessed by the experience I’ve had in fellowshipping with God while reading the book. I gain greater self awareness and also God awareness and I know that God has healed me so that I can heal. Thus, I do hope that in some way, you too can be blessed by this review =)
Deep Wounds, Deep Healing is generally a book on inner healing.
• Good for those who is currently/wish to be ministering to those who have inner wounds affecting their lives and also those who are seeking help with their own inner wounds. This is not a self-help book though =)
• It provides understanding of what inner wounds are, how they come about, how it affects our lives and what it can lead to and how one should manage and partner with God to heal these wounds.
• Provides detailed and precise guidelines we can follow to minister healing that comes from God to suffering people.
1. Inner healing
• Dealing with the inner garbage within our lives which everyone has and should not be ignored. This is because it usually involves sin (usually anger and unforgiveness) and allows devils to have some control over us.
• It is all about receiving from God. Both the one receiving inner healing as well as the one ministering.
• It is about restoring our freedom given to us by God. Matt.11:28-30. By submitting our emotions to God. Giving God our rights to remain angry.
2. Damaged self-image of those hurting inside
• They are aware of sin, so don’t need to remind them.
• In the eyes of God, they are victims but they may condemn themselves for falling short of who God wants them to be.
• Help them by bringing them to see God being compassionate towards them and not help them see their sin because they already know. And also convicting of sin is the job of the Holy Spirit, not us. We are to minister love and bringing them to see restoration.
• Deepening relationship with God is what deep-level healing importantly brings about.
3. Largely affected by our responses to experiences
• The damage received by a person from a traumatic experience depends on how bad the situation had been and also how creative the person is.
• So don’t underestimate the damage just because the experience may not seem that bad.
4. Inner wounds can create a split personality
• A separate personality is developed due to a trauma. It may be deep sadness that create a personality that is dissociated from the person’s main personality
• In such cases, we need to allow the main self and the dissociated self to join back together.
• It is important that if the dissociated self existed before the person receives Christ, the dissociated self must be brought to receive Jesus first.
5. This book also talk about dealing with demons (due to our inner wounds, demons can reside within us and gain certain control over us even though the Holy Spirit lives in us)
• Demonization is not demon possession. Possession gives the connotation of full control but it is never the case that the demon can have full control over us; They can have some but not full control. Demons can only harm the areas that we are wounded and have sins.
• Therefore, the casting out of demon is usually not the crucial step. It is the healing of the internal garbage that truly stops the demon from coming back.
• Demons can be cast out easily in Jesus’ Name, but their presence in the person’s life is not the main problem, the main problem is the internal garbage which makes it possible for demons to reside.
Would like to end off with a sentence written in the book: Inner healing enables us to cherish even the worse moments on our lives. I certainly hope I’ll be able to do so, so it’s not the end of me receiving inner healing now that I have finished reading the book. I’m constantly checking for any damaged attitude towards myself, towards people and also towards God. I believe God wants to restore and heal me more =)
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Expectation - It brings about striving spirit and ensures improvement
With anticipation and expectation, we'll naturally find some ways to meet our expectation. No one will naturally be satisfied that they are wrong in predicting something. Whenever you realise that you might have been wrong in some way, you will not let it be but try finding out till the exact truth. Whereas if you have predicted correctly, you won't naturally have any incentive to find out things from the perspective that you are wrong. Seems pretty confusing at this moment. Let's bring in an example. Let's say today you are going for a class gathering, the previous time you had that, you found it really boring and a waste of time. You'd probably expect this time to be equally bad. When the gathering ends, you'd probably start thinking you're right that it was indeed boring and do nothing about it. Whereas if you had come to the gathering expecting lots of fun and a great time to catch up, yet at the end of the day you found it boring, you'd probably start evaluating why it went this way. Basically, without expectation actually forms a vicious cycle. You don't expect good things to happen, it does not happen and its okay. The next time you don't expect again and again it doesn't happen and it goes on.... However, if you were to break from this vicious cycle and start expecting good things to happen it will most probably go like this. You expect, maybe it didn't turn out as good as expected, you evaluate why. The next time, you expect again and you prevent what you evaluated is the cause of below expectation. For sure this will lead to improvement!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Expectation - Should have or not to have?
Should we have expectations of one another and of God?
Let's first look at the bible
Job 29:21
"Men listened to me expectantly, waiting in silence for my counsel.
Psalm 5:3
In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.
Romans 8:19
The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed.
Hebrews 10:27
but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.
Luke 6:34-35
And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
Think it should be quite obvious from the verses that we should come to God in expectation. But will our expectations all come to pass? i would say no. Well, then why run the risk of having to feel disappointed? while it may really be true that without the expectation, we'll probably not feel upset, but it is not right to not expect; not anticipate things to happen just to avoid the agony that it might not be attained at the end.
I believe sometimes it really is not about stop expecting as a whole, but to think whether that expectation is what God wants us to be expecting. if we are expecting something that God doesn't want us to have at this moment, of course you will have to face disappointment at the end. God didn't give us the emotion of disappointment to torment us, but to challenge us whether we still trust that God has kept the best for you even when you do not get what you want. It is growing your security in God.
The verse in Luke talks about showing love without expecting anything in return. This does not contradict with anything mentioned above. We do good not to make sure we receive it back, that simply is not love at all. It isn't an issue about expectation at all.
Finally, just want to end by drawing our attention to God and how he demonstrates this. When God created man, He gave them freewill, expecting that they will obey His instructions and not eat the forbidden fruit. If God didn't have this expectation, He wouldn't be angry when they disobeyed. But God did not from there stopped loving man. Though we receive punishment, but God still meticulously watches over us. Moreover, do you not know, God is omniscient and omnipresent. This means that God knows that man is going to disobey and He is going to be upset, but He still expected. And He did so because He loves us.
Let's first look at the bible
Job 29:21
"Men listened to me expectantly, waiting in silence for my counsel.
Psalm 5:3
In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.
Romans 8:19
The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed.
Hebrews 10:27
but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.
Luke 6:34-35
And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
Think it should be quite obvious from the verses that we should come to God in expectation. But will our expectations all come to pass? i would say no. Well, then why run the risk of having to feel disappointed? while it may really be true that without the expectation, we'll probably not feel upset, but it is not right to not expect; not anticipate things to happen just to avoid the agony that it might not be attained at the end.
I believe sometimes it really is not about stop expecting as a whole, but to think whether that expectation is what God wants us to be expecting. if we are expecting something that God doesn't want us to have at this moment, of course you will have to face disappointment at the end. God didn't give us the emotion of disappointment to torment us, but to challenge us whether we still trust that God has kept the best for you even when you do not get what you want. It is growing your security in God.
The verse in Luke talks about showing love without expecting anything in return. This does not contradict with anything mentioned above. We do good not to make sure we receive it back, that simply is not love at all. It isn't an issue about expectation at all.
Finally, just want to end by drawing our attention to God and how he demonstrates this. When God created man, He gave them freewill, expecting that they will obey His instructions and not eat the forbidden fruit. If God didn't have this expectation, He wouldn't be angry when they disobeyed. But God did not from there stopped loving man. Though we receive punishment, but God still meticulously watches over us. Moreover, do you not know, God is omniscient and omnipresent. This means that God knows that man is going to disobey and He is going to be upset, but He still expected. And He did so because He loves us.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Timeless
want to post this to share this new understanding that i have... recently there have been rumours regarding Lady Gaga amputating one of her leg for fashion reasons. haha well, but i'm not here to discuss whether this is true or not haha!! i believe that this brings up strong thoughts and even emotions to many. My first reaction was finding it totally ridiculous for anyone to do something so foolish. Firstly, it is doing harm to your own body. Who in the right mind would incur a disability to yourself when you can have a complete one. i think in comparison to this, suicide can be a more logical thing to do!! (but don't get me wrong, it is NOT) Second, if your reason is for the sake of fashion, it isn't a reason at all!! Fashion is subjective. Something beautiful to one may not be to another. Being a media character, all the more she should understand no matter what she does, how she looks, there will be a bunch of people who loves her crazily and at the same time a group who despises everything about her. Moreover, fashion is susceptible to time! Look at the way trends change over the years. Everything comes and goes. While what you are doing (for goodness sake) is NOT!! The equation is one way! no turning back!! DOn't you think that it is such a foolish thing to do?
Anyway, my point here is not to convince that amputating your leg for fashion reason is a foolish thing to do. Hope to zoom in on the part regarding time. Do you think it makes a difference if the time trends last is doubled or even if it will last throughout the rest of you life? In the Kingdom of God, there is no time. Because there is eternity. The time of our whole life on earth is nothing in the Kingdom of God. 80 years is nothing compared to 1,000,000,000... years agree? So doing anything for the sake of anything in this world is not worth it compared to doing something for God. Let's live timeless, looking at what God gives to us in eternity and not the things attainable on this small little planet earth.
Anyway, my point here is not to convince that amputating your leg for fashion reason is a foolish thing to do. Hope to zoom in on the part regarding time. Do you think it makes a difference if the time trends last is doubled or even if it will last throughout the rest of you life? In the Kingdom of God, there is no time. Because there is eternity. The time of our whole life on earth is nothing in the Kingdom of God. 80 years is nothing compared to 1,000,000,000... years agree? So doing anything for the sake of anything in this world is not worth it compared to doing something for God. Let's live timeless, looking at what God gives to us in eternity and not the things attainable on this small little planet earth.
Saturday, April 03, 2010
oh man, my blog's suffering a serious drought. haha. hmm.. have not been dealing very well with things for the past few weeks (should it be several weeks instead?! haha) not able to cope with studies, other responsibilities and guarding my own thought life. Think i have been hanging on till right now plainly out of perseverance. Which i hope would be only be the temporal case.
There are quite a number of questions that involve the things which are really important in my life that i really hope i can have a clear answer to. Honestly, i find it quite draining. I have to constantly watch my own life, be aware of sins, be aware of season and respond positively. I find it so hard to be so alert. **i really have the hobby of stoning** It just feels really tiring and i just wanna slack away. BUT i know for sure that's not what God wants me to be doing. He called me for much greater purpose.
Find my mind being in very much of a mess, things unsettled and worries coming in, i really don't know what to deal with first. But i know all these are making me really anxious and disfunctional. Maybe this is what i should be working on first. So how to not be so anxious all the time? I would think of being more secured in Christ.
Alright 2 verses to hold on to. If you're reading this please pray for me, cos I have slight anemia and suspecting (waiting for blood test result) thyroid. They have symptoms of being easily tired, intolerant to cold, and being negative emotionally or can even lead to depression. Was quite shock to know the one about depression. But i do find i can be very vulnerable to it so really need to be careful.
There are quite a number of questions that involve the things which are really important in my life that i really hope i can have a clear answer to. Honestly, i find it quite draining. I have to constantly watch my own life, be aware of sins, be aware of season and respond positively. I find it so hard to be so alert. **i really have the hobby of stoning** It just feels really tiring and i just wanna slack away. BUT i know for sure that's not what God wants me to be doing. He called me for much greater purpose.
1 Peter 2:9
9But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
Find my mind being in very much of a mess, things unsettled and worries coming in, i really don't know what to deal with first. But i know all these are making me really anxious and disfunctional. Maybe this is what i should be working on first. So how to not be so anxious all the time? I would think of being more secured in Christ.
Matthew 11:28-30
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Alright 2 verses to hold on to. If you're reading this please pray for me, cos I have slight anemia and suspecting (waiting for blood test result) thyroid. They have symptoms of being easily tired, intolerant to cold, and being negative emotionally or can even lead to depression. Was quite shock to know the one about depression. But i do find i can be very vulnerable to it so really need to be careful.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Friday 26, double the bad luck?
haha, from the title, could have guessed that today had been an unlucky day for me!! met with several not-so-pleasantly surprising incidents. and the worse thing that happened was that I dropped my laptop from the chair!! and the LCD screen broke. Went to 8 flags to ask whether it can be repaired and the cost is $550!! that is not including gst btw. That's more than 25% cost of the laptop! probably can get a netbook at IT fair already. anyway, still thankful that its still working, just that with an ugly screen. just bear with it for 2.5 years more and probably i don't have to use it anymore. At least its not cracked until i can't see anything. Basically it is still working, just that not so nice.
yea, just 'whined' to xingyi about it and she say the crack looks abit artistic!! haha yup, must be thankful about the things i have.
hmm. recess week just started. i guess i really need to plan it well cos i really want to make use of this time to catch up with many things and really recharge to carry on the next half of the semester and conquer it better than the first half.
Anyway just also want to share something that is on my mind. Ytd during CG meet, sengkim encouraged us to fast lunch together as a caregroup for the whole of next week. i realise i was abit relieved cos i don't have to worry about what to eat!! (especially cos its recess week, i don't have excuse to not cook my meals) haha. cos there's quite a lot of frozen food that mum and dad left behind. haha they are really scared we'll starve to death!! haha yea, but i think i do worry my mum quite abit cos everytime they go over to m'sia, i'll fall sick. and that time during visit, my relatives all comment i become so much skinnier so my mum is worried that i don't get good nutrition when she's not around. yup, but i realise that i'm really lazy. Everytime i just don't know what to prepare to cook! haha i don't enjoy cooking after all (unless maybe it takes 15mins and everything is one pot/saucepan/oven!!haha). This is really weird, haha i'm like enjoying for fasting for a wrong reason! But still need to go back to the meaning of a fast. It is to deny myself of something and to seek God to fill me. Yup, so since i already know there is some other weird reason for me to fast, i need to be extra careful and make sure i stay on track!
yea, just 'whined' to xingyi about it and she say the crack looks abit artistic!! haha yup, must be thankful about the things i have.
hmm. recess week just started. i guess i really need to plan it well cos i really want to make use of this time to catch up with many things and really recharge to carry on the next half of the semester and conquer it better than the first half.
Anyway just also want to share something that is on my mind. Ytd during CG meet, sengkim encouraged us to fast lunch together as a caregroup for the whole of next week. i realise i was abit relieved cos i don't have to worry about what to eat!! (especially cos its recess week, i don't have excuse to not cook my meals) haha. cos there's quite a lot of frozen food that mum and dad left behind. haha they are really scared we'll starve to death!! haha yea, but i think i do worry my mum quite abit cos everytime they go over to m'sia, i'll fall sick. and that time during visit, my relatives all comment i become so much skinnier so my mum is worried that i don't get good nutrition when she's not around. yup, but i realise that i'm really lazy. Everytime i just don't know what to prepare to cook! haha i don't enjoy cooking after all (unless maybe it takes 15mins and everything is one pot/saucepan/oven!!haha). This is really weird, haha i'm like enjoying for fasting for a wrong reason! But still need to go back to the meaning of a fast. It is to deny myself of something and to seek God to fill me. Yup, so since i already know there is some other weird reason for me to fast, i need to be extra careful and make sure i stay on track!
Monday, February 01, 2010
school semester has been tough... didn't really have time to take a break and that explains the lack of posts... Getting started on doing more things and definitely not adapting to them all yet =( but still have to just try and try.. one of my dad's fish just died T.T dunno izzit cos we never take care properly...
Anyway want to share about my excitement in this (still considered new) year, with the embarkment of ID2010 meaning 2010 being a year of intentional discipleship. Amazed that God is detailed to give us a direction to follow =) and it really gives me a whole lot of assurance that God will do something, He will do something and He will do something! And this is really something i really need in my own season of life. God just revealed to me more and more about my insecurity and lack of faith in Him and even distrust in Him. It was a painful time discovering but i guess without these pain, there won't be this drive to overcome! Emotions really adds the 'push' for us to do something. I truly believe that in this case God made used of my emotions to show me this and that just goes back to show what a meticulous God He is!!
Even though it says in Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?", after all, God is the one who created us with emotions and allow us to feel certain things. The dictionary definition of deceitful is illusory and fallacious, this means the heart is misleading, but it is not wrong. It is not wrong to have emotions, just that they can mislead you. So the point is not to force yourself to be emotion-less, but to honour God despite your emotions. Like what i did, it was painful but i chose to face it with God and not run away from it or to cover it up, and i'd say it led to something good, cos i know what's the direction for me to grow in =)
Your emotions reflect your one true passion only. True? If not, what else? Why?
A question that i pondered. I have no idea yet, feel free to contribute haha =D
Anyway want to share about my excitement in this (still considered new) year, with the embarkment of ID2010 meaning 2010 being a year of intentional discipleship. Amazed that God is detailed to give us a direction to follow =) and it really gives me a whole lot of assurance that God will do something, He will do something and He will do something! And this is really something i really need in my own season of life. God just revealed to me more and more about my insecurity and lack of faith in Him and even distrust in Him. It was a painful time discovering but i guess without these pain, there won't be this drive to overcome! Emotions really adds the 'push' for us to do something. I truly believe that in this case God made used of my emotions to show me this and that just goes back to show what a meticulous God He is!!
Even though it says in Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?", after all, God is the one who created us with emotions and allow us to feel certain things. The dictionary definition of deceitful is illusory and fallacious, this means the heart is misleading, but it is not wrong. It is not wrong to have emotions, just that they can mislead you. So the point is not to force yourself to be emotion-less, but to honour God despite your emotions. Like what i did, it was painful but i chose to face it with God and not run away from it or to cover it up, and i'd say it led to something good, cos i know what's the direction for me to grow in =)
Your emotions reflect your one true passion only. True? If not, what else? Why?
A question that i pondered. I have no idea yet, feel free to contribute haha =D
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
new semester
thanks so much to sengkim and kuangting who kind of forced me to do up a plan for my entire uni, cos there are major PEs which i have to clear and i need to choose and plan them properly as they have pre-requisites and are only offered in one of the semesters in an academic year T.T because of that, i realise i have to take a year three module, otherwise i'm almost sure i need to stay for an additional semseter...
this sem stuck with all my core and physics major PEs!! 22 AUs of them!!
My time table:
Exam schedule
Looks pretty xiong... but have already geared up myself for a semester that i'll be really working on my physics!! By faith i shall find the strategy to doing physics!! muahhahaha!! (opps going crazy a lil'..) Hope to be able to go through a semester that is one of breakthrough; breakthrough not only in my studies, but in serving Him as well =)
this sem stuck with all my core and physics major PEs!! 22 AUs of them!!
My time table:
|
Exam schedule
| Index | Course | Title | AUs | Exam Schedule |
| 70011 | MPS811 | Defence Science | 3 | 23-APR-10 1430-1630 |
| 73221 | PAP212 | Electromagnetism | 4 | 26-APR-10 1300-1530 |
| 73011 | PAP231 | Physical Optics | 3 | 27-APR-10 1300-1530 |
| 73061 | PAP342 | Solid State Physics I | 4 | 30-APR-10 0900-1130 |
| 73021 | PAP261 | Introduction To Lasers | 3 | 04-MAY-10 0900-1100 |
| 70094 | HW102A | The Art Of Academic Writing | 3 | -----Not Applicable---- |
| 73001 | PAP219 | Physics Lab Iib | 2 | -----Not Applicable---- |
| Total | 7 Course(s) | 22 AU(s) | ||
Looks pretty xiong... but have already geared up myself for a semester that i'll be really working on my physics!! By faith i shall find the strategy to doing physics!! muahhahaha!! (opps going crazy a lil'..) Hope to be able to go through a semester that is one of breakthrough; breakthrough not only in my studies, but in serving Him as well =)
Saturday, January 09, 2010
As what was said, I need to update this blog on several things… my results, reflections for the year and my new year resolutions =)
Examination results
Well, even though it kinda late to update about this, still really want to thank God and honour Him to the best of I know how to for what He has done. Hmm… I didn’t do very well for my exams in fact, I failed a module, got a D and a C, the rest of the modules I got an A-, a B+ and a B.
I failed my compulsory math module which I S/U-ed. Thank God I S/U-ed it!! Haha so now it doesn’t affect my GPA =) I got D and C for two of my core modules which are 4 AUs each… OUCH! Haha
Didn’t expect to do so badly, cos for the previous semesters C+ was my worse grade. So it was quite a great drop. Honestly, judging from the effort I put in to study for the past few semesters, the grades I get this time shouldn’t be what I deserved. I felt greater effort being put in to study and study hard than the past semester, but the results really did not reflect this at all.
However, God really spoke to me through my experience in receiving my results, I really cannot deny that He really really made me prepared to receive results that are disappointing. Initially I did not intend to ‘camp’ in front of the computer for my results to be out. However, when I wanted to off my com, I saw that I it was 2346, just another 14mins (and someone reminded me that results going to be out tonight!otherwise I wouldn’t have remembered) so I decided to wait awhile for it to be released. I started to get really nervous and scared during the wait, so I made myself think about the worse of the worse scenario, which is to fail and fail 3 modules, started to rehearse the situation of failing 3 modules and felt that it wasn’t that bad after all, I can just repeat them… so I got more settled but still sense that there was fear, so I decided to worship God and to pray to Him and really receive peace, which I did =) and there, I was prepared to receive the results. So the experience was really one that was very stable, I wasn’t overwhelmed by my emotions simply because God prepared me for the worse. And through this experience, God really convince me one thing, which is that He will never never make me go through a situation that He has not made me prepared for. Whatever challenge He puts in front of me, He has prepared me for it =)
After realizing this, I just find God very amazing and simply good all the time. Because He really doesn’t bless me for no reason. The last semester, He blessed me with good results , even though my knowledge of the modules weren’t good, this time round He didn’t do that again, because He wants to speak to me something different, He wishes to bless me in a different manner =)
Reflections for 2009
Haha, had CG meet 2 days ago and SK had us draw a picture of how 2009 had been for us… I drew the container for new year goodies that allows you to put like 6 different candies in one container. I thought of using something related to food to describe because I think it has been a year that was very full, in the sense that there were a lot things that I went through and all these things had greater and deeper meanings, they were really more than superficial things =) which really is a breakthrough, I used to be someone who really go through things without much thoughts and I don’t learn from my experiences and this makes me repeat my mistakes!!haha but 2009 was a year that I go through things and I come to know certain things that I never knew, especially things about myself, the deeper issues…
I would say that the beginning part of the year was a time that I started and prepared to will myself to make sacrifices to avail myself to serve God. Having a semester that was super cramped, super busy and super stressful, I was challenged to do things for Him.. But God really delivered me, in terms of my studies =)
Then the year went on with many many first-times with God. This was a period where I really discovered more about myself and make use of these things to make a difference. And all the way till the end of the year, I have been trying means and methods to make this difference one that is even greater. And this I would like to carry to the new year =) That I may continuously receive from God and have something to give to those around me =)
Resolutions
Two areas I’m really concerned about for this new year is my health and time. Because these are the two things that really hinders me to do more for God at this moment. So for now really want to set resolutions to overcome them =) yup, to do things taking into consideration my health and to spend time thinking about the rights things and doing things that are outward-looking =)
Examination results
Well, even though it kinda late to update about this, still really want to thank God and honour Him to the best of I know how to for what He has done. Hmm… I didn’t do very well for my exams in fact, I failed a module, got a D and a C, the rest of the modules I got an A-, a B+ and a B.
I failed my compulsory math module which I S/U-ed. Thank God I S/U-ed it!! Haha so now it doesn’t affect my GPA =) I got D and C for two of my core modules which are 4 AUs each… OUCH! Haha
Didn’t expect to do so badly, cos for the previous semesters C+ was my worse grade. So it was quite a great drop. Honestly, judging from the effort I put in to study for the past few semesters, the grades I get this time shouldn’t be what I deserved. I felt greater effort being put in to study and study hard than the past semester, but the results really did not reflect this at all.
However, God really spoke to me through my experience in receiving my results, I really cannot deny that He really really made me prepared to receive results that are disappointing. Initially I did not intend to ‘camp’ in front of the computer for my results to be out. However, when I wanted to off my com, I saw that I it was 2346, just another 14mins (and someone reminded me that results going to be out tonight!otherwise I wouldn’t have remembered) so I decided to wait awhile for it to be released. I started to get really nervous and scared during the wait, so I made myself think about the worse of the worse scenario, which is to fail and fail 3 modules, started to rehearse the situation of failing 3 modules and felt that it wasn’t that bad after all, I can just repeat them… so I got more settled but still sense that there was fear, so I decided to worship God and to pray to Him and really receive peace, which I did =) and there, I was prepared to receive the results. So the experience was really one that was very stable, I wasn’t overwhelmed by my emotions simply because God prepared me for the worse. And through this experience, God really convince me one thing, which is that He will never never make me go through a situation that He has not made me prepared for. Whatever challenge He puts in front of me, He has prepared me for it =)
After realizing this, I just find God very amazing and simply good all the time. Because He really doesn’t bless me for no reason. The last semester, He blessed me with good results , even though my knowledge of the modules weren’t good, this time round He didn’t do that again, because He wants to speak to me something different, He wishes to bless me in a different manner =)
Reflections for 2009
Haha, had CG meet 2 days ago and SK had us draw a picture of how 2009 had been for us… I drew the container for new year goodies that allows you to put like 6 different candies in one container. I thought of using something related to food to describe because I think it has been a year that was very full, in the sense that there were a lot things that I went through and all these things had greater and deeper meanings, they were really more than superficial things =) which really is a breakthrough, I used to be someone who really go through things without much thoughts and I don’t learn from my experiences and this makes me repeat my mistakes!!haha but 2009 was a year that I go through things and I come to know certain things that I never knew, especially things about myself, the deeper issues…
I would say that the beginning part of the year was a time that I started and prepared to will myself to make sacrifices to avail myself to serve God. Having a semester that was super cramped, super busy and super stressful, I was challenged to do things for Him.. But God really delivered me, in terms of my studies =)
Then the year went on with many many first-times with God. This was a period where I really discovered more about myself and make use of these things to make a difference. And all the way till the end of the year, I have been trying means and methods to make this difference one that is even greater. And this I would like to carry to the new year =) That I may continuously receive from God and have something to give to those around me =)
Resolutions
Two areas I’m really concerned about for this new year is my health and time. Because these are the two things that really hinders me to do more for God at this moment. So for now really want to set resolutions to overcome them =) yup, to do things taking into consideration my health and to spend time thinking about the rights things and doing things that are outward-looking =)
Friday, January 01, 2010
A whole new year!
woots!! it's the first day of 2010!! haha glad that 2009 had been a fruitful one =) though there were things that were difficult to go through, tough times, there were really enjoyable times as well and i really saw how God had changed me this year =) yup, i did my reflections a few days ago, but it wasn't completed and i only saved it in my laptop which i left in sengkim's place (forgetful me in action!! haha) anyway even if i had my laptop with me i would probably not have completed the reflections as well, cos i had a really horrible headache after visiting sk at his place on tuesday night... it was like the whole left side of my face was in pain and i was really scared, really don't know what is going to happen to me... i can't sleep and can't do anything and it's like in the middle of the night and i can't go see a doctor... thankfully, my shepherd, gracia and my brother prayed for me and after sometime i finally manage to fall asleep after taking panadol... the next day (which is ytd) it was better but head still hurting so decided to still join the unit for at least dinner, before they go for countdown for the new year.. however the pain became so bad while i was on the bus and i felt like fainting so i decided to turn back home... and went to see the doctor after that.. he didn't really find out what's the cause of the headache, just gave me painkiller and a stronger medicine to cure my blocked/running nose which didn't recover for really long, asked me to relax and rest more... buden i evaluate whether stress or lack of rest could be the reason and i really don't think so, cos i have been sleeping really alot after the fever i had a week ago and it's the holiday, i'm not that stressed... really no idea what's wrong with my body and i'm very afraid that the pain i experienced will come back again, cos its really bad and there seems nothing i can do, except pray for it to go away...
think i go take some rest now, later my relatives coming to my place... oh yar, got back my results two days ago, God did an amazing thing beyond the results =) will share again about my results and 2009 reflections and new year resolutions...
think i go take some rest now, later my relatives coming to my place... oh yar, got back my results two days ago, God did an amazing thing beyond the results =) will share again about my results and 2009 reflections and new year resolutions...
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