Season of self-discovery

oppsy, i didn't blog for almost two weeks!!
yup, kind of busy with some stuff =) but still was fulfilling =)
ended the 10-day fast already, it was a time where i could really focus more on God and understand better what He wants me to do at this moment and really thankful that God placed people in my life to help me have a direction, particularly sengkim and calyn who both met up with to talk about this. now i'm really clear what i want to do to prepare myself for greater service to God during this holiday where i do have quite a luxury of time. it is a time to reflect and discover about myself, a time for me to take things slowly and have a stop-check on what exactly is going on in my life. Cos the truth is i really do not really understand myself sometimes =( emotions sometimes take over and yet sometimes i need to convince things logically..seems quite confusing to me and many times i ask myself questions, i will have this feeling that it won't be the same at another time, for example now i say i'm fully convinced that i am in God's plan despite being in a course that i struggle in alot and really don't like but i really am unsure whether the answer will still be the same when the semester starts and i don't really know what i do help. that's kind of the irritating part that i want to work on to be able make sure that i will make wrong decisions at any point of time. Self-understanding is crucial.

here's what i'm gonna do:
- self-awareness: don't let go of any negative feelings, find the root of it and see what's not right about my mindset that has caused this feeling. is it just a random thought? is it bcos of insecurity? it is bcos of jealousy? ...
- humility: letting God to prune me, show me the negative things about me and convict me to change/ improve, not to put me down but to make myself even more fruitful =)
- heart towards growth and maturity for the sake of God's Kingdom: check my heart of doing this; it is not bcos i want to do this to make myself a pleasant person in other's eyes but to make myself pleasing and faithful vessel that God uses to do His works, His great and mighty works =)

Okie, readers, do pray for me that this season of self-discovery will be fruitful =)
Thank God for many blessings =)