wells, ytd cg was quite an eventful one..cos sihui was teaching about putting God first despite our busy-ness and the skills we can practice to prioritise the only eternal thing. and the first point was to slow down our pace. and i was thinking...how to slow down??there are due dates to meet,there's really no room for slowing down..so i pointed that out. den there were some discussion within the cg..jeekai talked about looking at the bigger perspective ,try to see God's perspective, not out own and sengkim reminded me to ask myself the purpose of me working hard (is it for myself or is it for God ??)i really don't know. sometimes i dun see God or feel God when i'm really studying. sometimes i really don't know why am i studying..i JUST STUDY!! i just wana finish my tutorial....truth is when i do physics, my whole mind is that SINGLE question and if i don't do that i can't solve a single thing..yes i can take a break when i know i get really stressed up but once i refresh myself, i must get but to the my-world-is-this-question state. God,is this healthy?? but if this is not what i shld do why am i here in ntu as a student, when i cannot study? am i always too focus on the things on hand i dun see any purpose in the big perspective?? and sometimes i really don't know whether i choose to study is the right thing to do..because i study but not fruitful,still cannot do tutorial den wads the point?? wouldn't it be better off if i had use that time to outreach or help some people in need or just sit down and listen to Ur word?
today, i pray to my Lord to grant me wisdom, grant me knowledge help me to see the bigger picture, lead me in the best plan U have prepared for me. i may be struggling now but remind me of Ur presence wherever i go. help me to be humble, grow me in the difficult time...still God has revealed to me the very true problem i have, may not seem very big at the moment but it sure can grow to be destructive..so i thank God for this blessings, in Jesus' name AMEN! :D
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