Deuteronomy 9:1-6

Not Because of Israel’s Righteousness

 ¹ Hear, Israel: You are now about to cross the Jordan to go in and dispossess nations greater and stronger than you, with large cities that have walls up to the sky. ² The people are strong and tall—Anakites! You know about them and have heard it said: “Who can stand up against the Anakites?” ³ But be assured today that the LORD your God is the one who goes across ahead of you like a devouring fire. He will destroy them; he will subdue them before you. And you will drive them out and annihilate them quickly, as the LORD has promised you.  ⁴ After the LORD your God has driven them out before you, do not say to yourself, “The LORD has brought me here to take possession of this land because of my righteousness.” No, it is on account of the wickedness of these nations that the LORD is going to drive them out before you. ⁵ It is not because of your righteousness or your integrity that you are going in to take possession of their land; but on account of the wickedness of these nations, the LORD your God will drive them out before you, to accomplish what he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. ⁶ Understand, then, that it is not because of your righteousness that the LORD your God is giving you this good land to possess, for you are a stiff-necked people. 

Read this passage for qt ytd and it helped me understand that God gives us gifts and talents, assign to us leadership, not because of our righteousness, not because we did something to earn it but He's doing so such that more may turn away from their sinful ways and be drawn back to Him. Just few days ago, there was a sub-d meet where timothy shared about renewal; particularly renewal three areas: renewal in identity, renewal in vision and renewal in leadership. On the point of renewal in leadership, he emphasised that leadership is not something to be earned. In my mind, i was actually wondering so how does leadership come about then? My question was answered answered as I read and understood this passage. Very clearly, God is saying to Israel, you have not earned this. It is not because of your righteousness that I am giving you this land to possess, but because of their wicked ways, God is showing them His power through Israel, by letting them dispossess nations stronger and greater than Israel themselves (v1). And God is doing so to fulfill His will and promise, for His Kingdom to come.
Thus, I understood that when God gives to certain possessions, gifts, talents or assign to us leadership roles, it is not because we did something to earn it, it is not because we are good/better than someone else, but only so that His will may be fulfilled through us, and His glory may shine through us. So let's put comparison and performing aside but focus on being someone God can use to advance His Kingdom =)

a little breakthrough coming from a hoping heart..

hihi, just want to share over here about a little breakthrough that i went through this tuesday during the soft condensed matter physics class. It's the first lecture for this module and there were only 4 students taking the class. The horrifying thing came when the lecturer said that since the class is small, let's really try to get to know each other and got us to introduce us one by one. haha but the lecturer's a nice guy though =) yups, and so the first person went, he asked him to say his name, related modules he had taken, year and what's his future plan. I was like OH NO... the lecturer is gonna make me say to the whole class that I want to go into counselling/social work after taking physics course??!! Though all the while I have been (partially) openly making plans about pursuing a career in my interest, there was still this part of me insecure about letting my professors know about such plans that i have. I have never been able to share to my professors about my future plans. So immediately my mind actually started to think of excuses and what to say to smoke through his question. And being in the ultra mini class, my turn soon came. I introduced my name, my year and waited for him to prompt the rest one by one. And when he actually reached the question what's my plan for the future, i just said i'm not intending to further study, hoping that he'll just move on! haha but he didn't, he continued to ask what i want to do, and still avoiding to answer, i said work, and he continued, what field/area? I was like OH MY GOSH, THIS IS IT... and i finally said that i'm interested in counselling.. and the whole class was commenting that it sounds like psychology field and there was this guy sitting behind me, whispering into my ear: "you're in the wrong course, it's still not too late to change.." felt very uneasy at that point of time, but at the same time i felt my trust in God in this area actually grew. I realise that it is important that I am not ashamed of this truth about myself. I am proud of where God has placed me and I am also proud of the talents and passions that God has given to me. Though they don't seem to link and connect nicely and is a very uncommon pair, I believe God as the God of miracles and God of the impossibles. I embrace this is who I am because I believe this how He created me to be.

Also, during one day in my qt, i read this verse 2 Cor. 3:12 "Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold." I was immediately captured by this verse because of the rhyme in hope and bold, and reading it once more, I realise how powerful this verse is. Because we have a hope, because we believe that something is going to happen, we have courage, we face up to the things/ challenges we have and we are not afraid nor in fear. I really think this is very cool! haha and in a sense my breakthrough is an experience of this verse, that i have hope in God for my future and that gave me courage to proclaim what i see and understand of my future to everyone. =)

Secure in Heart (Book Review)

 This book my shepherd made me read, due to the many struggles that I faced due to my insecurities. Reading this book has blessed me with good perspective and encouraged me to not stop looking to God and trusting in God. 

Secure in Heart

By Robin Weidner

Some thoughts on experience of reading the book:

A very practical book, giving guide on handling all kinds of insecurity faced by women. Emphasizing again and again that the insecurities we face are not the result of our inadequacy but how God made us to have an intimate relationship with Him. All our emotional needs can be met by God, however many influences from media, satan and many who are of the world, tempt us to believe that we have to strive to meet these needs instead of looking to God who is our creator and ultimate provider.

Providing many practical guides, this book effectively helps every women face her daily battles with the father of lies (satan) and helps her look to God and go through life’s many challenges victoriously, recognizing that every challenge comes with the opportunity for great growth.

Nothing more to say, but to encourage you to pick this book up, if you are a women this book tells you that you are not lonely in facing ur struggles but many other women face the same struggle as you and it is possible to be struggling in them victoriously, because God, our protector, our Father, our Creator, our Saviour never leaves nor forsakes us.

Secure in Heart is a book written to help every women deal with difficult situations in life as well as a guide to look to God to meet our emotional needs.

·         Every woman struggles with insecurity at one time or another. This book talks about many different hurting situations which we can still remain strong. Packed with true testimonies of how other women found comfort even in their most hurtful moments of losing a loved one, failed marriages and heartbrokenness of a betrayal.

·         Clear guide on using God’s Word to fight our daily battles

·         Encourage us to share our struggles and allow other women to be part of struggle by offering support, encouragement and an example of trusting in God.

1.       It is not wrong to feel and nothing to hide; God made us this way

·         Being open to God and people is crucial to overcome insecurity

·         God made women this way, embrace it, it is how we can connect intimately with God

·         Hiding leads you to loneliness; Satan deceives that No one understands

2.       Our worth is in God, not man

·         We are God’s daughters, His love for us never fails

·         His love is inexhaustible; His love is constant; His love is incapable of error; His love is non-retractable; His love is unceasing.

3.       All our questions of security can be answered by God

·         Am I Enough? God’s goodness Psalm 31:19, Psalm 86:17

·         Who can I count on? The Rock Psalm 40:2-3

·         Will I be rescued? The Anchor Psalm 18:18-19

·         Will I be Successful? The Guide Isaiah 30:20-21

·         Who will Protect Me? The Guard John 17:12,14-15

·         What Do Others Think of Me? The Advocate Galations 1:10, Job 16:19-20

·         Will I be Alone? The Comforter Psalm 119:75-77

Be a truly captivating women: Display your beauty through loyalty, commitment and faith to God.

Thank God for good results =D

Today is the day if receiving results. Once again, I was prepared for the worse. And this sem really is no joke. Because if i were to fail my module, it would mean that i have to stay back at least one sem if I were to continue with the plan of doing internship. and i really felt i could fail.
However, God delivered me with good results, actually the best sem resutls i have ever gotten. My sem GPA is 3.83, it's from 2.61 last sem lor! I'm really surprised that I could get B for my quantum mechanics 2. I know I worked very hard but i also know that there are many things that I do not really understand! haha It's for the first time ever that my GPA had ever increased. From sem to sem, it had always dropped! Really really thank God =)

Beginning this year, I foresee that it will be a period when i will be challenged in trusting God with my career in future, and I believe this is the first test, and He showered me with a great blessing. I think He must be telling me His favour is on me =) Thank God, and I will continue trusting in You =)

Serving in combined service..

ytd was a really exciting day. it was the first time i served in a combined service as an usher leader and the best thing is i didn't even know about it at all, i just went there and was asked to go into a meeting for the leaders. There were crop ups here and there but overall, everything had been good and i learned a great deal of things and i just think that this incident is so in line with all that God has been speaking to me about. To serve and give whatever little that I have and He will multiply.

firstly, the msg given to me was to meet at 12noon, so i told my people to meet at 12. turn out that 12 is the time for the leaders' meeting, so actually the other ushers need not reach yet. Thankfully they all forgave me for making them come down so early. Later on during the service itself, i just did what i could, not really knowing how to use the walkie talkie, i didn't even switch it on at first! alright in the end i still didn't use it at all! haha but i actually learned alot through the listening of the other conversations going on. It's really really different. In the normal services that we have, whatever we need to communicate, just walk to the person and speak, but at the combined service it is so big and the crowd is so large, we really need to watch out every corner.
Some key things i learned from this time of serving. I need to be alert and watch out for things going in every part of the auditorium. A leader leads well by giving clear instructions and clearing doubts that members have. I experienced that a leader is no one different from anyone else who really wants to serve God.

Looking back at this whole thing right after the service ended, i really felt that i had gone through this first time of leading usher in combined service in a 迷迷糊糊 manner. But after thinking more about it, i think God has a msg for me through this and that is that He has a great vision, He wants to complete something in this world that He has created and He has chosen to use me. Little as i am, small may be my contribution, God still wants to use me, and how wonderful is that for me to be chosen to do this work and be part of this work. I thank God and it really is my privilege =)

Jemara Photos =D

Jemara Summary

A summarized of the most impactful things =)

The trip was far more rewarding than what I expected. Exposed to many new things and experiences. I got to experience a simpler life. One that does not have the sophisticated technologies; One where enjoyment comes from things that are created by the hands of God (the scenery, the fishes, the stars, the breeze).

I was most involved in the kid's programmes. It was my first experience with this. Furthermore, we did not have most of the details and we had to do plenty of improvising and changing of plans during the trip itself.

Through the times of improvising and changing of plans, I really experience what it is like to serve with a simple heart of just giving whatever little that I have. During the first few days, I could only see the kids getting rowdier and more out of control. I really couldn't see how our plans will ever work. However, focusing on God, believing that God who has started His work and we have come here to be part of this work, I just needed to give all that I have. Holding on to this, we evaluated and came out with new plans to help the situation.

However, I am very glad that towards the end of the trip, we managed to hold the class in an orderly manner and certain values such as courtesy and cleanliness were instilled to the children. I am very thankful that for some other reason, I had taken Malay Level 1 this semester. It turned out to be pretty helpful for this trip. I could converse simple sentences with the children, and also help out a bit while teaching the English to the English teachers over there.

During this trip, I learned that missions require sustained hard work, continuous focus on God and His people. Own needs should really be lifted to God. However, God always blesses the heart that is willing to do His work.

Finally, this trip helped me to be exposed to a different culture, different living conditions. I sense the burden for the people over there and perhaps many other places as well. They are people who are very thirsty, so thirsty that they will drink whatever you give them. Pure water and not pure water. They will take both. If they get the good water, they will have a good life in future. If not pure water, they will either continue to thirst and it may even destroy their life. Thus it is important for people like us to go to where they are and blessed them with good, pure water, like how we have received from out God.

Jemara =) =)

Hope to bless with this full-length reflections =)

Prep

Our time was quite tight, because we are leaving only a few days after over exams end (notice I’m using very proper English, cos our facilitator is an English teacher and corrected our English along the way! Haha). Nonetheless, the important things such as setting objectives, praying and planning were done under a tight schedule; Most of the time amidst of our exam preparation. However, God sustain all of us and allow us all to have a good spirit and I’m very glad everyone was ready and eager to give what they have.

Preparation was done all the way until the day before we left. We were still communicating among one another about the items to purchase. Pretty last minute but I guess it can’t be helped. There were times when I was rather irritated that those things weren’t confirmed earlier. But thinking about it again, I guess it must be God testing me and showing me how eager I am to see this being done well. Really, getting irritated won’t do any help and get me questioning how willing I am to go out of the way to achieve the best that I/we can give. See the bigger picture, I would say is the essence of doing missions for God. For the bigger picture is what God sees and we need to see it too then become able to live for something greater than ourselves.

I volunteered to be in charge of the purchase of food items for our goodie bag because I know where to get them cheap, moreover I can get to go to Sheng Siong Supermarket where I can help my parents buy something. However, the search for the supermarket was really bad and the things to carry was horribly heavy.

Then was the prep for the children’s programmes. Cassie came over my place to stayover so we could discuss during the night. For me, I ain’t experienced with planning kids’ programmes so she contributed more detailed ideas.

Day 1

Luckily KT’s dad came over to give us a ride over to Harbourfront. Our luggages were so heavy, we held all the food items and most of the donated books. I was very happy to see so many actually came down to send us off =) Started the morning quite well, but the journey on the sea wasn’t good for me. Felt dizzy and nauseous, but was seated apart from the rest and couldn’t communicate my discomfort to anyone. In the end, my neighbours, having overheard my attempt to tell my brother that I was unwell, gave me the seasick pills. Later realise that they were the group staying together with us at the Kelong. The next surprise was the especially sumptuous meal served to us. After enjoying the meal, we went over to Jemara for the very first time. From the boat, we could see from a distance how the destination looked like. It was a beautiful village; Kelongs and many coconut trees. We saw many children along the way and they all seem very excited to see us. Heading down to the education centre and opening the door, the children rushed in and sat down orderly on the two benches as if awaiting for our programme to start. My first thought was: Oh no, they are waiting for us, what should we do? Although we had planned some icebreaker kids’programme, we didn’t expect the children to come and wait for us. The team just took some time to ask around for the children’s names and ages. We were quite surprised that most of the children do not know their age. Then we proceeded to have our games with the children. Encountered some difficulties but it worked out well in the end. Cassie and I also realise that we had forgotten to bring along the paper which records our plans for the kids’ programme for the four days, so we will have to do them all over again. From the kids’ programme today, I got to see how hungry these children are for people to be there to give them something. Despite language barrier and that we were astonished and didn’t know what to do, the children were not turned off, they still expected us to have something for them and they waited. I realise that most of the time these children just really don’t have anything to do. They do not know what they can do, and they are just waiting for people to come into their lives and give them something to do. And we must do something about this, because if this continues, in the future, they won’t know what to do with their lives, and they need to know God has a purpose for them. After that we proceeded on to have a tour of the island, saw how a girl drew water from the well, which is the only supply of freshwater in the island. This made me give thanks for the comfort and convenience we have back home in Singapore. Ended the tour with a coconut buffet! Haha Our host paid one of the villagers to harvest some coconuts for us. Later Wee Leng explained to us that that was a way that they are using to help the villagers get an extra income. The culture there is very passive.

Went back, had our debrief and dinner, and shower, which was a disaster for me due to the cold water. But I really enjoy the Kelong; beautiful scenery, many fishes, wooden houses, simple roof.

Day 2

Had lessons with the children for the first time today. Had a lot of things we improvise along the way. We started off with the toothbrushing. Due to the inavailability of venue and resources, we had to split the children up into batches to teach them toothbrushing. But it all turned out well. I guess they enjoyed the song =)

Bangun Pagi, Gosok gigi

Kiri-kiri, Kanan-kanan

Atas-atas, Bawah-bawah

Gosok lidah, Gosok gigi

They kept singing it after the lessons. On hind sight, I would say that this day was like a day of understanding what we are doing here. What we did was just carrying out what was told to us. And we didn’t really understand what our role here would be. Later on during evaluation, we discussed about that our role is to help the children to change to transform into better children. Teach them good habits, help their parents and people around them see what good behavior is and promote/encourage it further. At the same time, we are training the English teachers, after all, we are only here for few days, while they are the ones who will be with the children on a much longer term. Today, I was discouraged by the fact that I cannot see how what we taught will stay with the children. For English, I do not see the motivation for the children to learn. They don’t use this language. They speak to each other in Bahasa Indonesia, to parents in Bahasa Indonesia, how will they ever use English? And without practice, it will be easily forgotten. For good habits, they only do it because we tell them/ force them to. Eg. Disposing rubbish: they first throw it on the floor or into the sea, only when we tell them to throw it into the bin then they pick it up and throw it, the next time, they commit it again.

But really this is the little that we can do. We could just be patient, don’t give up, continue to pray and hope that they will remember the things told to them.

For learning wise, we could just engage them and make the most out of the lesson time that we have to make sure they have the most practice of the language.

Didn’t feel that we had much accomplishment on this day, but it helped me to experience and serve with the spirit of giving whatever little that we have and trusting that God will do the rest. We cannot see how much of a difference we are making, but we hold on to the desire to do what pleases God. This is what will keep us going in the midst of difficulty and challenge.

Day 3

Started the class rules:

1. Respect your teachers
2. No playing/running
3. No fighting
4. Stay in class during lesson time
5. Be quiet while the teacher is talking
6. No littering

For this part we needed great help from the English teachers. This helped me to see that we are really training this people up to be taking care of these children. We were also initially quite worried about how the children will respond to the class rules. Because the Singapore children mentality is if you ask me to something I don’t like, I’d rather you leave me alone and I go do something I like on my own. However, the children were attentive to hear and it was really heartwarming to see them saying thanks by the kissing of hand (according to their culture). From that could really see that they do will give respect to us, when we establish our expectations from them clearly. It was rather different from the previous day, when I could not really see changes from what we are doing. Now we started to see progress. We also evaluated that we need to brief the English teachers before and after the class to help them learn the most. Our intention is to gain as much assistance from them in our methods of achieving a good class. This is to allow them to see how a good class is like and how a teacher can achieve it.

Today I realize that it would be good to hear more from the English teachers to help them to think and evaluate in the correct direction so that they learn and not just go through the lessons that we have. However, didn’t really manage to hear much from them in the end.

Day 4

Think today is like a wrap up of the experience of the whole journey of coming here to help the people. The spirit of never give up and being keen on doing everything that will help the Kingdom of God, continually improvise and make the best of what we can bring – these are what I experienced. I feel that during this trip I was put in the circumstance that I just serve with a simple heart. It is either I feel I can’t make any difference and give up or I continue to serve and not think about this and put my focus on that this is the work of God. This work belongs to God and as long as I am willing, God will work out something for nothing is beyond what He can do.

In this trip, we didn’t expect to do so much but we did manage to achieve a good job. We painted the whole exterior of the education centre, we established the classroom rules and there were fruits of better control of the class. It was a great experience.

Later in the day, took some time to linger and look at the things I did in the education centre, like the photo corner, the class rules, the arranged bookshelf, the crayons and colour pencils boxes. I could take ownership of these things but God tells me to let go, for my work there is ended. The next is for others to continue. And this is how it should be like. The work belongs to God and He chooses who to use to accomplish it. I may not be the one harvesting, but that doesn’t make me any less. I may not be the one reaping all the glory, but that does not mean God loves me less. I am happy and contented with what God used me for.

Lastly, I’m thankful for my team. I really think that everyone had good spirit. Didn’t really hear complains and all were eager to give and help.

Day 5

A pity we didn’t have time to go down to the land and catch bats (Brother Dodi actually promised to catch a bat for me to see the night before). But had to accomplish the road block, which I (not sure about the rest) enjoyed it. The task was to translate an English P&W song into Indonesian. We translated You Chose Me =) The task was actually not easy, progress was slow and discussion wasn’t done in a group. However, in the end we still managed to do it, and I thought it was a rather good job =)

I think the task serve to remind us that in missions not everything will turn out well. There will be times of problem and disagreement, but a willing heart to do what God wants can always bring us back. So hold on to this and continue on.

R&R & First Service of 2011

I missed most of the R&R because not feeling well, but I’m happy to go down to service. I really wanted to share my experience with the other brothers and sisters. It was a wonderful experience for me and I wanted them to be blessed and encouraged.