Desert Song

=) very thankful for God for sustaining me this week. Well, it did had its share of ups and downs (with God). But glad everything work out right, and that i see God as a faithful God who really provides.

Start off by answering the question I wanted to think about since the last post, the question that Sengkim asked a few caregroups ago. About whether i can say to God that I can live simply because i have Him. Think God had been challenging me in this. haha cos i did include it in my prayer, so this is how God answers me and helps me. Just feel really amazed at how God always communicates me in very interesting ways... its like i have to take a big turn, then turn back to Him and afterwhich everything falls into place. Perhaps God is growing me in terms of listening to Him, waiting patiently for His will to be done. Why did i say that God challenged me? hmm, yup had things to struggle with.. role in caregroup, purpose in physics, difficulty in finances, striving to make a difference in my family... i think these are things really important to me at this moment, and i really want to handle everything well. But i think its really until now that i truly realise, these challenges are included purposefully in my life by God =)

Before doing this reflection of my week, i had always looked at these challenges as opportunityies given by God to grow myself, grow in managing, basically to grow to become a better person more equipped to serve Him. BUT, i missed out this important point of growing my relationship with Him as well... though it is in His plan that i grow to become a stronger person through the going through of trails and difficulties but what is more important... Just very reminded of Mary and Martha as i thought about this. I was like Martha, only looking at the external, my service to God, whether what i did made a difference. I forgot what is the more important, that anything that i go through, i seek to accomplish it with God, so that my relationship with Him will grow. My prayer for today: To be like Mary, seek to grow my relationship with God.

Very blessed by this song as well =)

Desert Song
Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

Think it really speaks of how i desire to handle the things that i am going through right now...having the assurance that God will help me, understand that God refines and disciplines, having the confidence in Christ. It really allows me to express to God that whatever it may in my life, Lord you are still worthy of praise =) As i sing this song, i will always recall of times of trouble when i find it difficult to trust God, but things always turn out well and i see God's hand in it. and seeing this helps me to trust God in the present =)
Also really really like the last verse.. This is my prayer in the harvest, When favour and providence flow; I know i'm filled to be emptied again, The seed I've received I will sow.. I think cos i really what to claim that i understand that i'm filled to be emptied again =)
Something i really desire to do for God. I think to be able to really understand obey to this phrase, I will really be willing to give up all things for God. i think it is declaring that the earth has nothing i desire, God You are my only desire. You give to me what you want to me to have and I am a vessel to be used by you, i take no glory for the things i do bacause whatever i did it is You who has done it through me.

Thank you God for being so faithful to me, not forsaking me even as i stray away and wander from you and somethings rejecting Your will for me, thanks for calling and pulling me back. Lord continue to reveal to me how to desire for more of You in my life, help me Lord to remember to always seek to grow my relationship with You through the work you call me to do (which is everything that i'm doing now =)) Lord lead me and guide me in Your ways, which i know is a pleasant future =)

Living my life as a worship

Currently in a season of pruning.. I see God putting me through several challenges. right now,i believe God wants me to deal with my area of insecurity and dwelling in negative thoughts. Loving God in my mind.

Challenges in terms of my studies, my future, finances and family are all happening together. but thank God I'm still walking with God, having been looking to Him through this period. Just feel that really cannot fall away from being like this anytime. I really need to sustain this heart attitude that trusts God and believing that everything will work out right because of Him. Him alone gives me security, because however i look at the circumstance, the situation, i see no hope. But because of God in my life, i foresee miracles. My life will be one of miracles because my life will shine God's strength. it only through the lens of faith that i see a bright future, a bright future that i have with God.

One question (posted by sengkim) that had been in mind for some time is this: I can say i can't live without God, but can i say i can live with nothing else but God?
Having faced the many challenges, i can definitely say that i really cannot live without God. But the question whether i can live just because i have God and nothing else is something i had never thought deeply about. in other words, God is something i need but is God all i need? the answer should be a yes, because if i truly know God's character and trust that He can and will provide, i need nothing else but Him. but i just can't say that God is all that i need at this moment.
What i thought would be able to help myself is to ask this myself this question: will i give up all the things i have to be with God? My life, my friends, my family, my possessions... I think everytime i ask myself this question, i will tell myself that these are all the things provided me and He will continue to provide. But that's not true, the life of a bible character, Daniel, he lost all that he has and God allowed that. God will not necessarily provide me with these things, but the only thing He always unfailingly provide is His presence, His love.
Romans 8:38-39 "For I am convince that neither death nor life, neither angel or demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus out Lord."
Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who has been called according to His purpose."

I believe, i other words, God is saying He is all that we need. In EVERYTHING, God not only provide us our need, be instead provides us a life that is good. How would he then allow any of us to go through anything or any situation whereby our needs are not being provided. and we know that through the bible, the only things that God provided to all His people all the time is Himself and nothing else.

think that thinking about this question is really apt to my season now. to worship God with my life, i need to first be able to lay down everything before Him and say that God, these are not what i need , take them as You please, only be with me.