God is amazing :) he answered my doubt !!yeaps i had shepherding on friday and i told my shepherd that i was perplexed when i read the verse in Duet. 7 which talks about driving out the nations. i could not understand why God did not show mercy on these people, instead of trying to get them back to obey Him, He wanted to completely destroy them. shepherd told me that she ain't very sure too but trust that our God is knows what He is doing ;He knows what is the best .alot of times we may not understand fully God's ways but have faith and always trust in Him because we know we can accomplish nothing without Him so let Him be our hope.
Then just ytd while doing QT i come across these verses Deut. 19:19-20 and Deut.20:17-18 these verses spoke to me that God wants to make use of these people to warn us against evil so that we may not be influenced and conform to their wicked ways and fall away from God.
To me, God really spoke very specifically to my doubts and i am deeply touched by the God's love for me in wanting me to know and understand His ways so that i may align my ways according to His.
Thank God for being God !!

oh no oh no very long never blog le..haha ehh last week had quite alot of happenings.. the mid-term i got it back ytd got 30 i thought its quite bad but its higher than average of 26.?? yups so thk God but my computing only got 6.5 haiz dunno where gone wrong i thought i know how to do den kor get full mark la !siao one!lols but still thk God i passed :) hehe
den thur went for the blood donation i was so anxious when the person checke for my vein and she checked my left arm first and say cannot alr den when checkeing right arm i saw a vein protuding out !!but the person was looking at another vein for very long so i pointed the vein and say this one can?? den the person see den say yes, YES! 过关了!!haha but after that went for blood test den kena rejected cos iron level too low =.= sians so cannot donate again lo..
den thur had my horrendous physics tutorial when i dun understand a single thing the tutor was doing and my answer made sense to me but they are all wrong T.T and that was when i really really got very serious about changing course. its not the first time but it was then that i really dun see how i this course will work for me .i am studying hard already and to the extent that i only sleep at 2am almost everyday and that is really taxing for me, i really need to sleep furthermore,i dun see how carrying on doing this will help if i study so much and cannot still cannot grasp my concepts i think there is no point staying in this course when i do not have interest in it.. currently considering changing course to comm studies. to me it is a course which is much more dynamic compared to science it will be doing about people's perspectives ,opinions and has a wide range of exciting career prospectives.. had a chat with cassie about the course on mon and found out more about what they actually do in the course. what i really wana do now is to calm down, be sensitive to seek what God wants me to do and continue working hard whichever course i'm in. yups already emailed staff to find out more about changing course but the person replied me that i can only apply for change after completing my sem1 exams. just nice for me to really slow down and sort out everything before making the crucial decision. :) really thru this wana thk God that me heart remain so peaceful even though i'm in quite a dilemma ..and i hope that i'll still be able to bring joy to the people around me and not let my own problems hinder my service to God and His people.:)
ehh ytd had unit meet but it was an 'unusual' one cos some of them went to cook green bean soup and the unit meet was actually for us to bring the green bean soup to our friends hall and to show love to our non-believer friends. cos we really wana be the light that shines and showers love towards our friends towards this stressfull time as the exams are approaching. matthew 5:14-16i paired up with sihui and we visited yee sam (and shiyong) and hwee min and her roomie, audrey :) at first i thought it was like pure evangelising but den on the way talked to sihui and she say actually is just to visit them and talk to them ;making a gesture of love to touch them witht the love we received from our heavenly Father. wells it was really surprising to me that they came up with such an idea ..i would think that its a really crazy thing to do if it is not for God, but because it is for God i am willing to do anything that is out of the world..just think of what God had done for us, sending His one and only Son to be crucified and die on the cross for our sins..who in the right mind would ever do that, but God willingly did this for each one of us ..our gesture compared to this is really nothing. i'm sure people see what i;m doing as a sacrifice but what is this sacrifice compared to the sacrifice from God? really want to take this time to appreciate God 's love :))

Psalms 111:3-4 Glorious and majestic are His deeds, and his righteousness endures forever. He has caused his wonders to be remembered; the Lord is gracious and compassionate.

the week 's memory verse:
was doing QT and realised i have so many verses i really like dunno which to choose first as memory verse. lol but think this stands out cos its from OT yet it spoke alot to me( cos OT i find it more difficult to understand OT right now, need to look INTO the words rather than just reading it.)wells maybe i should make all those useful verses into a list and it be really easy for me to get a word from God whenever i need them :)
here goes

Deuteronomy 4:29-31 But if from there you seek the Lord your God ,you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you , then in later days you will return to the Lord your God and obey him. For the Lord your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed them by oath.

it shall be another day that i will delight in the presence of God =)

stressful..haiz uni is really a struggle..this week is gonna be really hectic!!haven't do any tutorial yet!! and tue got calculus midterm thur donate blood friday corporate prayer meet sat got make up lesson word for life and sunday got water bapt...quite worrieed that i can't complete my tutorial esp physics!! but still thank God for being with me for the past week and bringing me thru the struggles :) i need Ur strength O God!! thk God my tuition are no more until my exams end..shld have more time to study...have a feeling that God's plan for me is not to excel in my studies :( but but it will still be the best way for me to go ?cos i really dun believe a God who so loved us that he sacrificed His one and only son to die for us on the cross would not want me to lead a fruitful life that glorifies Him.

sometimes i just feel like letting everything go by ignoring every single thing that is happening around me, people events things deadlines advice .... ignore every single one of them and just stone i my own life. but the Lord reminded me of His sacrifice for us and who He is and what He is able to do. He is our creator and the almighty God who can create a way where there's no way ;He is the one who sent us here and have a unique purpose for each one of us .How can i not be moved and buck up and live up to God's standard?
God i want to do something for U! and i pray this to happen and to come to pass, call upon me O Lord give me a mission! in Jesus's name,amen :)

didn't update the week's memory verse was :

Psalm1:1-3 "Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of the sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But he delights in the law of Lord and on His law meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water which yields in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does propers."

heyas!!the new week is gonna start.. oh no starting to feel the exams are really coming but wells guess its the best time to start focusing on God especially by relying in Him on studies..now i think wad happened during cg was really impt cos if not for that i wouldn't really start thinking so much about the helpless-ness and frustration as i struggled to finish my tutorial and might go on falling away from God..at least now i know where i went wrong and is beginning to change for the better and during the even more difficult period i'm ready for the challenge. God is amazing,amen? AMEN!! haha and ytd sermon was about prioritising God first also so its really a timely reminder and encouragement from God.

yups ytd was my first usher duty in tertiary!! wells its not much of a change from youth..i thought everything ran smoothly..but really there was an extra sense of joy as i come back to serve in a similar way after stopping for such a long while..guess its cos doing something i'm familiar with and knowing that God is pleased by what i'm doing. :D and also very encouraged by those really first time usher. they displayed commendable initiative and spirit of excellence despite being really unfamiliar with the duties. and to seniors were good mentors too. kept asking us whether everything us okay whenever appropriate. make sure we are not blur blur and knows what is going on. yup =) happy happy to serve =P

den also now reading old testament alot alot of laws and regulations and can't really understand why there are so many of them but from them learnt about how particular we must try to be pure so that we can meet God. then i read this verse in levicitus that says we must not eat fats and blood and i was like how can that be possible. no meat can be pure w/o blood and fats! so asked kor about it. den he said that OT cannot be interpreted and applied the same way as NT, need to read more and find out the correct way to apply but just remember the most important is the principle behind these laws and not just physical submit to the laws. learnt alot from this. realise that is why many things there is no particular right and wrong its about why and our heart attitude towards it.. moreover,kor said if we are not yet sinless why do we bother ourselves with such regulations that help us meet God when there is an unbreakable barrier(sin) between us and God.we should know that trying to grow to be sinless is the priority and God desires us to be sinless.. Then he also say the many many laws also convey that it is almost impossible for any1 to be sinless,there are so many laws and we may even break them w/o knowing it .therefore God 's grace is really wad we need and thats why Jesus came !!
really refreshed by all these knowledge,guess i was kind of in the state of not understanding God's intention alr when this conversation with my bro was just in time..yups its another amazing plan from God =)

wells, ytd cg was quite an eventful one..cos sihui was teaching about putting God first despite our busy-ness and the skills we can practice to prioritise the only eternal thing. and the first point was to slow down our pace. and i was thinking...how to slow down??there are due dates to meet,there's really no room for slowing down..so i pointed that out. den there were some discussion within the cg..jeekai talked about looking at the bigger perspective ,try to see God's perspective, not out own and sengkim reminded me to ask myself the purpose of me working hard (is it for myself or is it for God ??)i really don't know. sometimes i dun see God or feel God when i'm really studying. sometimes i really don't know why am i studying..i JUST STUDY!! i just wana finish my tutorial....truth is when i do physics, my whole mind is that SINGLE question and if i don't do that i can't solve a single thing..yes i can take a break when i know i get really stressed up but once i refresh myself, i must get but to the my-world-is-this-question state. God,is this healthy?? but if this is not what i shld do why am i here in ntu as a student, when i cannot study? am i always too focus on the things on hand i dun see any purpose in the big perspective?? and sometimes i really don't know whether i choose to study is the right thing to do..because i study but not fruitful,still cannot do tutorial den wads the point?? wouldn't it be better off if i had use that time to outreach or help some people in need or just sit down and listen to Ur word?

today, i pray to my Lord to grant me wisdom, grant me knowledge help me to see the bigger picture, lead me in the best plan U have prepared for me. i may be struggling now but remind me of Ur presence wherever i go. help me to be humble, grow me in the difficult time...still God has revealed to me the very true problem i have, may not seem very big at the moment but it sure can grow to be destructive..so i thank God for this blessings, in Jesus' name AMEN! :D

heys!!back for memory verse for the new week :))

James 1:6-8 "But he asks must not doubt, because he who doubts is like a waves of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. "

Sat morning got c++ test, haven't really study so these days can't really blog =(
Hope to cya soon :)

With the presence of God, Each day is never hectic :D